Living Through a Major Renovation

Steve and I moved recently into a home that, while relatively new, needed some renovations, particularly in the master bathroom.  We had hoped to have the master bath remodeled before we moved in, but for reasons beyond our control, that did not occur.  Thus, we find ourselves in the midst of a major renovation project.

Home remodeling projects are never fun, easy, or inexpensive.  We have tended to buy newer homes and have generally limited home upgrades to cosmetic changes, such as painting or changing the floor coverings.  Our largest projects prior to the current one involved converting a screened porch into an office and finishing a portion of a basement.  Neither of those projects inconvenienced us much.

Renovating the master bathroom, however, is a totally different story.  Naturally, we had to remove all of our belongings from the bathroom and relocate them to the small guest bath down the hall. Since the closet is accessed through the bathroom, we had to empty the closet.  Our clothes are distributed among the closets in the three extra bedrooms. Unfortunately, for the sake of time, we did not perform this task in any organized manner. Getting dressed in the morning requires a search through all the closets for the desired clothing.

The existing tub and shower had to be gutted.  At the end of the first day of demolition, construction dust coated every piece of furniture in the master bedroom.  That night we vacuumed the carpet, dusted the furniture, and washed the bedding.  Then we covered every inch of the bedroom with plastic drop clothes.  Again this was done without proper forethought.  I wish I had retrieved clothing I would need from the dresser, but alas I did not. At least I know where the desired items are as I fight my way through the yards of plastic covering the dresser.  The first time we had to access the answer machine on the night stand, we moved it into the guest room, as well.

More plastic is adhered to our staircase and upstairs hall.  It keeps the debris off the carpet but not off our feet. I avoid going upstairs as much as possible because I don’t like getting bits of plaster stuck to the soles of my feet.  No matter how much we sweep, we cannot get it all up.  I look forward to the day we pull the plastic up and I feel carpet under my feet again.

Remodeling is messy, it’s inconvenient, it’s time consuming, and it’s costly.  So why are we putting ourselves through this process?  We do it for the end result, of course.  We are expecting to have a beautiful master bathroom that meets our needs when the remodeling is complete.  And although it feels like the remodeling has been going on forever, the entire project should be completed in only a few weeks.  We are willing to endure a short period of unpleasantness in order to achieve the desired finished product. We look forward to the day very soon when our master bathroom will be completed to our specifications and will once again be a usable part of our home. 

As I have watched the bathroom transformation, I have been reminded of the way God moves in us to transform our hearts and reform us to be useful for His needs.  Our old bathroom was operational but it didn’t meet our needs.  The old fixtures had to be demolished and the space cleaned of all the debris before the workers could install the new fixtures.  God has to rid our lives of everything that hinders His work before we can be fully useful to Him.  Sin has to go, of course, but also bitterness, pain, and unforgiveness.  When we give those things to God, He removes them from our hearts and fills the empty spaces with His love, peace, forgiveness, and understanding.  The old has to give way to the new.  The process is often messy and painful but the end result is more beautiful than we could have imagined.

I’m looking forward to the day that my bathroom renovation is complete and even more so to the day that my personal renovation is complete and I stand in the presence of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

If your life needs a renovation, Jesus Christ is the answer.

Sneak Peak at Restorations

 

The following excerpt is from my first novel Restorations, published by Oak Tara in October 2010.  I hope you enjoy it. 

If you would like to read a longer sample, please email me at susan@susaneball.com.   Restorations is available on Amazon and Christian Book Distributors.

 

From her lounge chair strategically placed under the shade of a large oak tree, Karen looked up from the book she was reading and took stock of her family. Her husband, Jeff, frolicked in the lake with their youngest son, Kyle. Their middle son, Austin, had tired of the water and was playing Frisbee with a redheaded boy he had befriended. Trevor, the oldest, was trying to make small talk with a blonde in a tiny pink bikini. At twelve years of age, he had recently discovered girls and was wasting no time in getting to know the opposite sex better.

As Karen surveyed the scene, she felt a deep sense of contentment. It really doesn’t get much better than this, she thought. A lovely spring day at the lake surrounded by those she loved best. Karen picked up the romance novel and continued her reading.

After a while, Jeff brought Kyle to Karen and said he was going to swim to the small island in the middle of the lake. Jeff was an excellent swimmer, and the short swim out to the island and back posed no serious challenge. Karen occupied herself with toweling Kyle off and changing him into shorts and a T-shirt. She began gathering up the wet towels and sunscreen. It was almost time to head for home. When she cast her gaze back to the lake, Jeff was about thirty feet from shore and struggling to keep his head above the water.

“Jeff! Hang on, Jeff! I’m coming.” Karen’s heart pounded in her chest as she raced to the dock and grabbed the life ring. She tossed it in Jeff’s direction, but it fell short of his reach. She pulled on the rope until she could reach out and grab the ring and toss it again. Karen threw it over and over, as far as she could, but each time it landed a little short. Jeff was only able to get his fingertips on the ring once before it slipped from his grasp.

“Help us! Someone, please help us!” Karen yelled at the top of her lungs as she continued to throw out the life preserver.

A man and woman had been walking around the lake and heard Karen’s screams. The woman called 911; the man joined Karen on the dock, offering his assistance. By this time, Jeff’s head had disappeared in the murky water. The man dove in but didn’t find Jeff.

The man and woman stayed with Karen and the children, as the rescue divers searched for Jeff’s body. There was no hope now. Karen pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. “You did everything you could,” the woman told her.

“It wasn’t enough.” Karen sobbed and repeated over and over, “It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough.”

*******

“It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough.” Karen Harper’s plaintive cries awakened her from her sleep. Her heart thundered in her chest. Her curly auburn hair was drenched with sweat. What’s happening?

Bolting upright, she opened her eyes and tried to focus. The room was dark. She reached out until her hand found the nightstand. She felt around for the lamp and turned it on.

“A dream. I was only dreaming.” Karen breathed deeply, trying to slow her racing heart. She closed her eyes again and shuddered. It seemed so very real. She could feel the warmth of the sun and the sand beneath her feet. She saw the panic on Jeff’s face as he realized he was going under and the scared faces of her children. Enough. Her heart was racing again. She shook herself and tried to clear her mind of the horrible dream.

If asked, Karen would say she never dreamed. She knew, of course, that everyone dreams, so certainly she must. But she could never recall having dreamed. Nightmares, however, were a different story. She could recall nightmares in vivid detail.

As she sat in her bed, trying to make sense of this nightmare, Karen recalled one from several years earlier. In that nightmare, Karen’s extended family had gathered for a reunion. The children were playing ball and running around, while the adults sat in lawn chairs eating hamburgers and catching up on each other’s lives. Suddenly, her father grabbed his chest and collapsed on the ground in front of her. She had crouched on the ground beside him and sobbed into his chest as he died.

Her sobs had awakened Jeff, who gently took her in his arms and stroked her head, whispering, “It was only a dream.” It had seemed so real that it took several minutes before Jeff could convince Karen that her father had not suffered a heart attack. “Your family has never even had a reunion,” Jeff had reminded her.

Even after all these years, she could visualize her father as he lay on

the ground gasping for breath. Despite the fact her father was still alive and well, Karen’s pulse quickened anytime she thought of that nightmare.

This morning Jeff was not there to comfort and console. This nightmare, while not based on reality, was accurate in its conclusion. Jeff was dead. He had been for nearly two years. Karen had tried to rescue him and had failed miserably. For the first several months after his death, she had been haunted day and night by the horrible series of events surrounding Jeff’s death. She had frequently awakened with a start, as she had this morning, frantic to save him.

Over and over, she had been plagued by questions for which she had no answers. “Could I have saved him if I’d tried harder? Is it my fault he’s dead?” “If I had been a better wife, would Jeff still be alive?” As time passed, she had to set aside her constant thoughts of him. There was nothing she could do for him now, except raise his sons to be the men he wanted them to be. As a single mother to three young boys, Karen had no time for guilt or self-pity. She had to provide for her family.

Grand Canyon Photos

Here’s a few pictures from our recent trip to the Grand Canyon. The pictures cannot capture the vastness and enormity of this beautiful spot. Standing on the rim looking in the canyon is breath-taking.

I had not expected trees to grow in the canyon.  Many spots are barren, but in other places trees grew abundantly on the walls of the canyon.  Such was the case in this spot near Mather Point. You can also see the layers of red rock in this picture.

  We were surprised by the variety of color in the rock strata.  In contrast to the brilliant red rocks in the last picture, these rocks looked as if they had been bleached white.

 Our first elk-sighting was unexpected and exciting. We were walking around the rim near the Aavapai Point, when she walked out of the woods several feet from us.

Grand Canyon Sunset Proposal

Steve and I have just returned to our hotel room near the Grand Canyon after witnessing a spectacular sunset and a proposal.  The two events provided a fitting ending to a great day spent at one of our nation’s most beautiful and unique national parks.

Tomorrow is our 31st wedding anniversary.  We are celebrating by spending a week in Las Vegas and at the Grand Canyon.  This is the first trip for both of us to the Grand Canyon.  We drove over from Las Vegas this morning and arrived about noon.  We spent the afternoon walking the Rim Trail, soaking in the beauty and diversity of the canyon.

After dinner we returned to the park to watch the sunset over the canyon. We had been told that the sunset is the most spectacular from Hopi Point.  Of course everyone else visiting the Grand Canyon has been told the same information.  Wanting to get a good vantage point, we arrived about an hour before sunset.  Two young people invited us to share their bench.  We chatted a bit and learned they are from Belguim and are visiting the United States for the first time. 

Steve offered to take a picture of the couple with the canyon in the background and the young man reciprocated.  Later we took pictures of each other as the sun peaked out from behind a cloud near the horizon.  Near sunset the girl got my attention and squealed, “Look!” while holding out her right hand.  A diamond sparkled on her ring finger–a diamond that hadn’t been there a few moments earlier.

 

We offered our congratulations and joked that she needed to move the ring to her left hand while she is in America.  She had him move it for her.  Of course, we took more pictures.  It turned out they were staying at the same hotel as us, so we offered them a ride back and spent another hour visiting with them.

To this young couple, we offer not only our heart-felt congratulations, but also our best wishes.  May their love grow through the years as they face many joys and hardships together.  May you weather good times and bad times knowing that they can get through anything as long as they are together.  When life is stressful and feelings are hurt, may they remember the joy of this day as they watched the sunset over the Grand Canyon and dreamed of a future together.   I hope their marriage is as rich and full as ours has been for the last 31 years.

Steve and I will never forget the joy and pleasure of sharing this special moment with new acquaintances.  Have you unexpectedly witnessed a marriage proposal?  Or perhaps you were part of someone’s proposal?  We’d love to hear about your experiences.

Mom’s Cross-Country Plane Trip

On of the legendaries stories in our family is of my mother’s plane trip from California to North Carolina.  The year was 1961. We had been living in Oceanside, CA, for the past two years, while my father was stationed at Camp Pendleton.  When Dad got orders to Okinawa, Mom decided to move to Salisbury, North Carolina, where Dad’s extended family lived.

The trip was remarkable for a number of reasons. For starters, it was Mom’s first flight.   I don’t think she had any idea what to expect, which in hindsight was probably a blessing.  Had she known how stressful the flight would be, she may have decided to stay in California.  Two plane changes and a missed connection complicated the flight.

Secondly, she was traveling not only with me, but also with my three sisters.  Sharon, the oldest was 4, while Nancy was only 6 weeks old.  Jeanne and I were in the middle.  I can’t imagine going to the grocery store with four preschoolers, much less flying cross-country.  I take my hat off to my mother for being brave enough, or perhaps naive enough, to get on a plane with the four of us. 

The flight was also remarkable in that Mom’s survival depended on the kind assistance of total strangers.  Fortunately, her fellow passengers were eager to help.  After Jeanne kicked a tray of food in Mom’s lap, a young Marine offered to hold the baby.  He disappeared into another section of the plane.  Mom didn’t see him or Nancy until the end of the flight.  He took good care of Nancy and returned her after assisting Mom off the plane.  Others helped keep  Sharon and I in our seats after we decided to run up and down the aisle.

However, the most remarkable aspect of the flight was the reason Mom was returning to North Carolina.  Mom and Dad met as students at Catawba College in Salisbury.  They were married on Christmas Eve 1955, in the midst of Mom’s junior year of college. She finished the year and took some summer classes but dropped out before completing her degree when she learned Sharon was expected.  With Dad gone for a year, Mom decided to go back to school and finish her college degree.  She reasoned that  Dad’s parents, grandparents, and an assortment of aunts and uncles would provide plenty of help taking care of the four of us girls.

Mom finished her degree that year, majoring in biology and becoming certified as a teacher.  Dad returned safely from Okinawa and the family moved to Parris Island.  Mom and Dad would have five more children and Mom never become a paid school teacher.  However, she taught us children many lessons and skills by incorporating teaching into every day tasks and reading aloud to us until I was out of elementary school.

It never mattered to any of us that Mom didn’t “use” her degree.  The fact that she went to such great lengths to earn it demonstrated the importance of education and the value of hard work.  When I interviewed for a college scholarship, I was asked who my role model was.  That was an easy question.  Mom was my role model then and she continues to be my role model.  She placed a high value on education, but she placed an even higher value on serving and caring for her family.  When I had children, I strove to live up to the example she set and prioritizing raising my children above career success and achievement.

Thanks, Mom, for making that incredible cross-country flight more than 50 years ago.  Thanks for modeling the importance of hard work and education while teaching us that family is the most important part of your life.  And, especially, thank you for allowing Jesus Christ into your life and sharing His love and plan of salvation with the rest of us.

I love you, Mom.  Happy Mother’s Day!

The family Mom and Dad created.

Paintings Depicting the Beauty of the People of Liberia

My long-time friend Cheryl Revell McCulla has captured the beauty of the people of Liberia in a series of paintings. Cheryl paints at her home in Monrovia, Liberia, where she has lived for the past two years.  I hope you enjoy this small sample of Cheryl’s artwork. 

Winning the Amazing Race of Life

Yesterday I watched the finale of the Amazing Race as the last three teams standing vied to cross the finish line first and claim the million dollar prize.  Each team made a major mistake in the final leg that could have cost them the race.

Art and J.J. appeared to be out of the race when they couldn’t decipher a riddle sending them to twin skyscraper.  They bounded back into second place when Rachel and Brendon hurriedly read a clue and missed an important piece of information.  Rachel and Dave seemed to have cruised to an easy win, only to be informed that they had missed a challenge. They hurried back to find Art and J.J. in the midst of the challenge. Fortunately for them, Art had a difficult time riding a narrow sled down a hill, while Rachel managed it with ease.  Rachel and Dave finished the challenge and were crowned the winners of this seasons Amazing Race.

As I watched the teams partake in extreme challenges, I had no doubt that I would never want to be a contestant on the Amazing Race.  Not even if I were young and fit.  I have no desire to repel off a 44-story building, as the final three teams did, or to haul buckets of manure as contestants did in a recent episode.

I was reminded, however, that we are all in an amazing race.  And this race is for much higher stakes than a million dollars.  Our participation in this race will determine our eternal future.  Those who “win” the race receive eternal life in Heaven as their reward. In the Amazing Race, there is only one winner; however, in the amazing race of life, we can all win.

Winning the amazing race of life requires accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior.  Many people claim that there are other paths to God, but the Bible teaches us that “there is no other name under Heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12)  Salvation is attained simply by acknowledging my need for salvation, believing that Jesus died on the cross as punishment for my sins, and confessing Him as lord of my life.

Winning the amazing race of life requires resisting the temptation to quit or be sidetracked.  Contestants in the Amazing Race face roadblocks, detours, and u-turns. Likewise, Satan tries to block our path, send us on detours, and u-turn us back to a life of sin and selfishness through temptation.  We can overcome Satan’s wiles by keeping our eyes fixed firmly on Jesus. God promises that He will be there in your moment of temptation. “God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Corintians 10:13)

Winning the amazing race of life requires focus and dedication with your eye firmly on the prize. The Amazing Race contestants are highly motivated, as they want to win the million dollar prize. Paul explained in his first letter to the Corinthians that our goal in life is much more valuable. “Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training.  They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” (1 Corinthians 9:25)   He said toward the end of his life, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me a crown of righteousness.” (2 Timothy 4: 7 -8)

Winning the amazing race of life involves making mistakes, acknowledging them, and getting back on track.  Contestants on the Amazing Race frequently take a wrong turn or misread the instructions and make a mistake.  They continue on the wrong path until they realize their mistake and have fallen behind in the race.  At that point they have the choice to quit and give up or turn around and keep competing.  Sometimes they are able to overcome their mistake and remain in the game; other times they are too far behind and are eliminated.  In life, when we acknowledge our mistakes (sins) and seek forgiveness, God promises to forgive our sins.  “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)  Forgiveness gets us back on track with God.

Rachel and Dave were greeted by the cheers and applause of their competitors as they crossed the finish line and won the Amazing Race.  One day my life on Earth will be over and I will be transcended to Heaven where my Savior will be waiting and rejoicing that I have run a good race and have finished the course.

What path are you following in the race of life?  Can you look forward with joy and a grateful heart to a life in Heaven and a crown of righteousness?  If not, I pray that you will allow Jesus to guide and direct you to the path that leads to eternal glory and reward.

Grateful for New Home and Wonderful Neighbors

After a long and tiring search, we recently bought a new home.  We moved into our new home two weeks ago. 

While I love being in my new house, I have not enjoyed the moving process.  I am thoroughly convinced that moving is for the young and that those of us who have passed the half-century mark should stay put.  Or, as my husband suggested, we should change addresses without moving any of the stuff–simply leave it all behind and buy new stuff to be delivered to the new house.

As my knees creaked and my back ached from packing boxes and hauling them up and down stairs, I comforted myself with the knowledge that the pleasure of living in the new house would more than compensate for the physical pain I was enduring.  In my new house, I have a kitchen large enough to entertain my ever-growing family.  Steve and I can cook together without being in each others way.  I look forward to preparing holiday meals in the new kitchen with my mom, sisters, and daughters-in-law.  I can’t wait until my grandson and granddaughter are hold enough to sit at the bar and make cookies with grandma. There’s plenty of room for grandchild #3, due to arrive in late October.

The move was made easier by wonderful neighbors, both old and new.  As we moved furniture and boxes into our new house, we were welcomed royally into the neighborhood.  One neighbor brought us marigolds to plant in our yard, another dropped off freshly baked cookies, and a third gave us strawberries and lettuce straight from his garden.    We very much enjoyed and appreciated our neighbors’ generosity.

Some neighbors have gone above and beyond. Twice since we closed the deal on the house, we have pulled into the driveway to find our lawn freshly mowed by our very kind next door neighbor Charlie.  Our former, and also very wonderful, next door neighbor Susan offered to take any “stuff” we didn’t want to donate to her church’s garage sale. I’m sure she didn’t expect us to fill her garage.  We were grateful to be spared the extra work of hauling our unwanted belongings to the Good Will.  Susan even came over and carried much of the donations to her garage for us.

We still have much unpacking to do, and many more items to donate or throw away.  But, all our belongings are in our new house and it’s starting to feel like home.  While we will miss our old neighbors, we are looking foward to forging many new friendships with our wonderful new neighbors.

Applauding Moms Who “Can’t Afford to Work”

CNN Money recently ran an article entitled ‘Moms:  I can’t afford to work.’ http://money.cnn.com/2012/04/18/pf/moms-work/index.htm?iid=SF_PF_Highlight  The story explains that after subtracting child care and all the other normal expenses associated with working, many moms are finding that it doesn’t pay for them to work. This is true even among college-educated mothers making above average salaries.

Several women were interviewed for the article.  One woman, Sunah Hwang, calculated that after paying child care expenses, she would bring home $18,000 and in her words, “It wasn’t worth $18,000 for us to let somebody else raise our son.”  I applaud Ms. Hwang and other mothers like her who are making the choice to give up some extra family income to stay home and raise their children. Ms. Hwang explained that the family has made some sacrifices, including family vacations, to get by on one income. It’s not easy, but they are making it work. 

I was blessed to be able to stay home with my children when they were young and to work part-time in their schools when they were school-aged.  Giving up my job to stay home with my children was a sacrifice I was happy to make, despite the years I had spent in college and graduate school.  And in some ways the sacrifices continue even today.  After being out of the job market for many years, I don’t have as much work experience as most women my age.  I don’t make the salary I would be making if I had been working continuously for the past 30 years.  However, I would not trade a higher salary, a more impressive job title, or all the material possessions in the world for the time I spent at home with my children.

Since I was at home full-time, I was able to take care of many of the family chores while Steve worked.  This allowed him to spend more time with the boys in the evenings.  Steve protected his weekends and evenings to have as much time as possible with our sons.  We will reap those benefits for the rest of our lives.  Our sons have been raised with our Christian beliefs and strong family values.  We have a close relationship with each of them and enjoy spending as much time we can with them.  They, in turn, are devoted to their families and are committed to making the sacrifices to allow their wives to stay home with our grandchildren.

I would encourage parents to consider the joys and blessings of having one parent committed to raising the children, even if it makes sense financially for both to work.  You will give up some income if one of you quits your job, but the benefits you gain will more than make up for it.

Response to “I Just Wish He Would Have an Affair”

Monique Honaman wrote a blog for the Huffington Post recently in response to a comment she has heard numerous times lately:  “I just wish he would have an affair.”  The women who have confided this desire assert that they are married to wonderful men whom they no longer love.  These wives can not “justify” divorcing husbands who treat them well, love them and their children, and provide for their families.  If their husbands would betray them by having affairs, then the woman would be free to leave them without feeling guilty.

Ms. Honaman concluded that she didn’t have an answer for women in this circumstance; however, she postulated two opposing views that she could justify as reasonable responses.  Paraphrasing her words, the views would be (1) you made a vow, so stick with the marriage and (2) end the marriage because life is short to be unhappy.  You may read Ms. Honaman complete blog at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/monique-honaman/i-just-wish-he-would-have_b_1297919.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl12%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D141998

While the two views Ms. Honoman expresses are probably the two most common responses to a friend’s or acquaintances’s declaration that she is unhappy in her marriage, neither of them offer the guidance that is needed.  All marriages go through “dry” times.  Love is an emotion that ebbs and flows.  Just because a woman does not feel the glow of being in love, doesn’t mean she cannot regain that feeling.  So what advise should someone give to a friend who expresses discontent with a good marriage?  These are lessons I’ve learned from my own 31-year marriage and observing others, such as my parents who have been married for 57 years.

1) Focus on the attributes that drew you to your husband in the beginning of your relationship.  If you are like most brides, you were head over heels in love with him on the day you walked down the aisle.  Think back on those days and remember how you felt when your love was new.  Your husband is still the same wonderful man you married with the same wonderful qualities.

2) Regularly make time for dates.  Marriage needs to be nurtured.  When you first began dating your future spouse, few things in your life were more important than spending time with him.  In the hecticness of life, time alone with one’s spouse often takes a back seat to work, children, and volunteering.  You can’t nurture your relationship if you aren’t spending quality time with your spouse.

3) Create opportunities for growth and fulfillment such as working on a project with your spouse or taking a class together.  Having a common goal and achieving it together can restore a sense of unity and accomplishment.  In the early days of a marriage, a couple makes plans together, such as starting a family or buying a house.  They work together for their mutual happiness and fulfillment.  As those goals are met, it’s easy for couple to become complacent.  Set new goals and dreams that will carry you into old age.

4) Look beyond your present unhappiness and envision the happy times ahead for the two of you.  If you have children, you can look forward to their graduations and marriages and future grandchildren.  Plan a special trip to commerate a significant anniversary.  Dream about the places you’ll go and the things you will do after retirement.

5) Remember your vows. You pledged to love this man through better or worse, in sickness and in health, til death you do part.  At the end of the ceremony, the minister pronounced you husband and wife.  He did not say “And they lived happily ever after.”  Of course you want to be happy and you deserve to be happy.  But happiness is fleeting.  No one is happy all the time, and no one is unhappy all the time.  If you stay true to your vows and work at loving your husband, it is very likely that happiness will return and that you will be even happier than you were in the past.

If you are unhappy in your marriage, I would urge to carefully consider the cost of divorce.  Not only is divorce the biggest financial mistake you can make, it is one that many people regret. It is likely that you are married to the love of your life–you just need to make an effort to rekindle the love that lead you to marry him.