Tag: relationships

Unique Ways to Express Your Love This Valentine’s Day

Are you scrambling to find the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for your spouse or the special someone in your life? Most people take the easy way out; they order flowers to be delivered, bring home a box of chocolates, and make a dinner reservation. In 2023, Valentine’s Day spending in the U.S. came to $185 per person. Yet, 34% of adults surveyed expressed disappointment in their partner’s expression of love on the holiday. Forty percent of women felt their partner fell short of adequately celebrating the occasion.  

The moral is that spending a lot does not necessarily make your loved one feel special. So, this year, instead of overspending and stressing your budget, you might consider giving gifts that take a bit of effort but cost little or nothing. Making the effort to create a gift or doing an act of kindness demonstrates your love for the recipient.   

Consider what type of action or gift is most meaningful to your spouse or partner. Gary Chapman identified five languages of love:  physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, quality time together, and physical gifts. He theorized that people have preferences and will appreciate and value the gift and you if you cater to them.

If your partner’s love language is touch, consider treating them to an in-home personal spa day.  

  • Prepare a warm bubble bath with a soft, fluffy towel nearby for drying off.
  • Give your partner a neck or back massage or a coupon for a massage once a month for a year.
  • A foot soak followed by a massage is an excellent “touch” gift.
  • If your partner is a lady, paint her toenails.
  • Make an effort to give frequent hugs and kisses throughout Valentine’s Day and every day.

For those who value words of affirmation, a handmade Valentine’s card or note will be significant.

  • Write a note or poem expressing the qualities that you love about your partner.
  • Hide messages of affirmation around the house and in lunchboxes and briefcases.
  • Take notice of the unique things they do for you and thank them for doing those things.
  • Print out the words of a song that describes your feelings and put them inside a handmade card.
  • Post Facebook messages telling all your friends how special they are to you.

Acts of service require a bit of effort, but you could demonstrate love to those with this love language in many ways.

  • Cook your loved one’s favorite meal rather than going out.
  • Bake their favorite cookies, cake, or pie. 
  • Do a chore for them, especially one you know they do not enjoy doing.
  • Complete one or more chores from the “honey do” list that your spouse has made for you.
  • Give your partner a book of coupons for services you will do throughout the year.

Spending quality time together requires little more than clearing your schedule and making the love of your life the focus of your day.

  • Plan a day of doing their favorite things, whether antiquing, hiking, visiting a museum or art gallery, or attending a sporting event.
  • Recreate your first date or a favorite date.
  • Turn off your cell phone and watch a romantic comedy or an action movie.
  • Cook your favorite meal together.
  • Participate in their favorite hobby—play pool, paint, go to a pottery class, or go fishing.

Select a meaningful gift if your loved one values a present over words and action.

  • Frame a favorite picture of the two of you or your family.
  • Buy a favorite dessert from a local bakery.
  • Rather than a box of inexpensive chocolates, select a few pieces of high-quality chocolates in a beautiful red or gold box.
  • Purchase a plant that will live long after a bouquet of roses has been discarded.
  • If your loved one is a collector, a new piece to add to their collection is a thoughtful gift that will not disappointment.

If God has blessed you with someone special to share your life, be grateful to Him. Take time this Valentine’s Day to thank Him for the gift of romantic love in your life. Remember that actions speak louder than words unless your partner values words of affirmation about other expressions of love. 

“Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” 1 John 3:18 (NIV)

Restorations and Reconciliations: Stories of Finding God’s Love and Forgiveness

Everyone messes up from time to time, probably more often than we care to admit.  I try to make a joke at lunch and end up hurting someone’s feeling.  The prank you play on your friend goes awry and she winds up needing stitches.  I fail to give my full attention to driving and cause a fender bender. 

Mistakes make us feel foolish, and they cost us something.  We may have to humble ourselves and apologize or make restitution.  We may be assaulted with thoughts such as “I’m the world’s biggest idiot” and “How could I have been so stupid?”  However, we typically forgive ourselves for our blunders quickly and move on.  Unless…

Unless the mistake has larger consequences.  Unless the mistake results not in embarrassment or damage that is easily repaired, but rather in broken lives and broken relationships.  Such as the mistake Karen Harper made. 

Restorations is the story of Karen Harper’s journey to find forgiveness and a second chance at love after turning her back on God and damaging her most important relationships.  It’s been two years since her husband’s death. Karen knows that he would still be alive if she hadn’t…well it’s just too painful to think about.  Karen knew her actions were wrong but she never imagined the pain they would cause.  Hoping to escape her past, Karen moves to Fredericksburg with her three sons.

She has a new job that she loves and she’s dating Kevin, a man she met on the Internet.  Although Karen thinks Kevin may be “the one,” her oldest son, Trevor, hates him.  Of course, Trevor hates everything these days and he barely speaks to Karen.  He blames her for everything that’s wrong in his life.

When the nightmares start, she realizes she will have to deal with her past and forgive herself for her mistakes before she can hope to move forward with her life.  As Karen allows God back into her life, she finds the forgiveness she desperately needs.  Then God begins the work of restoring the broken relationships in her life.

In contrast to Karen Harper, Kevin Peterson hasn’t made any big mistakes in his life.  He knows he’s not perfect, but by almost anyone’s standards, he’s a pretty good guy. He’s an honest car salesman, a loving son, and a loyal friend.  Kevin is doing just fine without religion or God in his life.

In Reconciliations, God shakes up Kevin’s life to show him his need for a Savior.  Kevin has to learn that “all have sinned and come short of the glory of God” and that no one can ever be “good enough” on their own.

Kevin’s life is going along pretty well except that he’s been unlucky in love.  Christine, his ex-wife, left him three years ago after he caught her with another man in his bed.  He dated Karen Harper for a while until she got religious.  Religion might have helped Karen deal with her past, but Kevin wanted no part of it.  He’s glad to have both women out of his life.

With a single phone call, God brings both women back into Kevin’s life.  This is more than Kevin can handle.  He needs help. It arrives in the form of Pastor Mark Vinson.  As Kevin spends time with Mark, and members of his congregation, he begins to see himself in a new light.  And he doesn’t like what he sees. 

When Kevin admits that he, too, is a sinner, he is finally ready to be reconciled with God.

Karen and Kevin acknowledged their errors and confessed them to God, and they accepted His forgiveness of their sins.  When they did, they found peace and hope.

You’ve made mistakes, too.  We all have.  Perhaps, like Kevin, you’ve been able to brush your mistakes aside and convince yourself that you are one of the good guys, but you know deep inside that you can never be good enough.  Or maybe, like Karen, you cannot escape your mistakes; they haunt you day by day and make you feel worthless.

It doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to ignore your mistakes or be troubled by them. Remember there is hope.  You have another option.  You can confess your sins to God and accept His forgiveness.  Then you, too, can have true peace and the hope that God has great plans for your life.