Make Holidays Memorable Without Breaking Your Budget

Have you noticed that celebrating the holidays is expensive? Presents consume a significant portion of most families’ budgets. We go all out on fancy food for the Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts. Then there are decorations, Christmas cards, postage, and holiday attire. It is easy to get caught up in the spending frenzy. Over half of all Americans (52%) began 2023 with debts from their Christmas spending last year. As recently as the end of September, one-third reported they were still paying off their credit card balances.

Hopefully, you have planned for your spending for 2023. If you have been reading my blog all year, you may have established a spending budget early in the year and are in good financial shape for this Christmas. If not, starting a budget now for next year is never too early. I hope you have a blessed Christmas and can celebrate the birth of our Savior without creating financial stress for yourself in the coming year.

With that in mind, my purpose today is to suggest that there are many activities that you can do with your spouse, children, grandchildren, and friends that will create beautiful memories without breaking your budget. Here’s a list of the ones I have thought of to get you started.

1. Bake cookies with your friends and family or for your friends and family. You can make several batches of cookies while drinking cocoa and catching up.

2. Host a cookie exchange party. The women’s ministries group at my church does this each year. Every woman brings three dozen cookies of one kind and goes home with a mixture of three dozen cookies made by the other women. It’s fun to get new recipes and taste everyone’s favorites.

3. Decorate Christmas cookies. If you do not enjoy baking sugar cookies, you can purchase them at the supermarket and decorate them with the younger family members. My grandchildren love to frost cookies and sprinkle them with sugar crystals. It’s a bit of a mess, and it creates wonderful memories.

4. Decorate your tree and home. I have always enjoyed decorating the Christmas tree; however, it is much more fun now that I have grandchildren. They also like to help Gramma decorate the house. Their ideas will differ from mine, and sometimes they are much better.

5. Drive around and look at the holiday lights. It helps to plan and know what neighborhoods have many decorated houses. Community Facebook pages are a good source of information on where to find the best lights.

6. Attend nativity programs at your church and others in your town. You will likely be surprised by the variety of methods of telling the Christmas story. Some churches put on outdoor living nativities, while other productions are more traditional.

7. Go to the Christmas parade. Children especially love Christmas parades, and in our community, we have several hosted by different localities within a thirty-minute drive of our house.

8. Go Christmas caroling. This has long been one of my favorite activities. For many years, our girls’ program at church has visited a local assisted living center and sang for the residents. The residents love it and join in the fun. One year, a 94-year-old resident accompanied us on the piano. We hand out some gifts that help the children interact with the older people. I always leave feeling happy and blessed.

9. Donate some canned goods to your local food pantry. Food pantries rely on donations year-round. The needs are even greater during the holidays, as many families seek extra help to enjoy their holiday feasts. Check with your local pantry to find out their biggest needs, and pick up a few items while shopping. You don’t have to spend a lot—look for items on sale. This is one instance in which many small donations can add up to a large amount of food to be distributed to others in your community.

10. Make simple homemade gifts. If your budget will not allow you to purchase gifts for everyone on your list, roll up your sleeves and make some inexpensive gifts. Pinterest is full of ideas and patterns, which you can download for free. The recipients will likely appreciate your homemade gift more than a store-bought one and will cherish it much longer.

11. Make homemade decorations. Rather than spending a lot of money on new decorations, reuse your old ones and make some new ones to give your tree and home a fresh look. Again, Pinterest is my go-to resource for creating inexpensive and fun decorations. You will have more fun and memories if you recruit friends or family to help make decorations.

12. Watch holiday movies. Pop a large bowl of popcorn or make your favorite holiday treat and settle in with loved ones to watch your favorite holiday movies. We have many beloved Christmas movies that we watch each year with our grandkids or extended family. My mother’s favorite was Those Calloways. I have many fond memories of the family watching it on Christmas night after we unwrapped all the presents, ate the Christmas meal, and cleaned up. We often ate turkey sandwiches while we watched.

13. Hang the stockings. Hand-knit Christmas stockings are a tradition handed down to me by my grandmother. My grandchildren love to help hang the stockings on the railing of our staircase. They love to come up with different arrangements each year. A few years ago, one of them decided we should hang fairy lights between the stockings. It was a beautiful way to highlight the stockings. They also take turns helping Gramma to stuff the stockings. The two eight-year-olds will have their turns this year and are already excited about it.

14. Read the nativity story to the younger members of the family. Plan a quiet time, perhaps after decorating the tree, to read Christ’s birth story. Have cocoa and Christmas cookies while reading or after reading.

15. Attend the church Christmas dinner. Our church family gathers together in early December for the annual Christmas dinner. It is always a great time of fellowship; everyone brings a dish or two to share. This is another excellent way to create memories and share family favorite recipes with your friends.

I am sure you have other activities for your family’s Christmas celebration. Please comment and share your ideas.

Thankful for God’s Blessings

I hope you have much to be thankful for as we celebrate Thanksgiving this year. We typically host our children and grandchildren. Our celebrations are usually loud and energetic, with three sons, two daughters-in-law, and eight grandchildren. This year’s Thanksgiving will be much different since my husband is recovering from his second surgery within six months. We will celebrate quietly by ourselves and focus on thanking God for the many blessings He has poured out of us.

Our greatest blessing is that God has called us to be His children. I am very grateful that God opened our hearts many years ago to receive Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. We live by God’s word, which provides a solid foundation for us when we encounter difficulties in life. We all endure challenges,  but we know God walks with us no matter what we face. 

We are thankful for the wonderful family God has blessed us with. We have close relationships with all of our sons, and we are very grateful that they live near us. We get to spend time regularly with our grandchildren, and they are the delight of our lives.

I genuinely enjoy my job and feel blessed to work there. God placed me in a position that provides excellent job satisfaction and allows me to contribute to the success of small businesses in our region. I can contribute financially to our family and provide the blessings of excellent health insurance.

I am thankful for a wonderful church family filled with prayer warriors. We commit to praying for one another’s needs, knowing the Lord answers our prayers.  

I am thankful for a large extended family and the opportunities I have had to spend time with most of them this year.

I am particularly thankful for doctors, nurses, and all those in the healthcare industry. While surgery is no fun, my husband’s two surgeries corrected problems that were diagnosed early. He will fully recover, and I am very, very grateful.

As we have officially entered the ranks of senior citizens, I am grateful for social security and retirement plans. I am thankful that God has given us the wisdom to manage our money for our retirement years.

I am grateful for God’s word and the wisdom it imparts to those who read it prayerfully.  

I am thankful for the opportunities that God provides for us to give to the building of His kingdom through tithes and offerings. As we give, we are building true wealth in Heaven and are helping to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with others. No gift can compare with the promise of salvation and eternal life. 

Psalm 95: 1, 2, “Oh come, let us sing to the Lord! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.” 

Reduce Stress By Planning Your Holiday Spending

Researchers estimate that 80% of consumers have started shopping for the holiday season. I shop for eight grandchildren, and I like to spread my spending over several months, so I am part of the 80%. Many people are shopping early to take advantage of promotions. Others are spreading out their spending to avoid hefty credit card balances in the coming year.

Economic forecasters predict that 95% of Americans will celebrate the holidays. The average consumer will spend $1,652 on gifts, food, decorations, clothing, and furnishings. This number is 14% more than last year, even though incomes increased by only about 5%.  

As parents and grandparents, we desire to make the holidays special for our children. We encourage them to make lists, and we try our best to fill their lists. But sometimes our budgets do not allow us to indulge our children as we would like. It’s easy to get caught up in the frenzy and spend more than we can afford. 

Before you overspend on Christmas purchases, take a hard look at your income and regular bills. Plan a time to sit down and calculate how much you can afford. Find a quiet space and clear your mind from the running to-do list constantly filling your head. Commit to not spending more than you can afford. The following ideas can help you to stay within your budget.

Prioritize. If you are a parent, buying gifts for your children should be first on your holiday shopping list. Beyond the children, you will want to purchase gifts for your spouse, parents, and spouse’s parents. Extended family, co-workers, and friends should be further down the list and may require you to cut if your budget does not allow them. 

Set Expectations. If you plan to spend less than usual this year, let your children know they may not find as many gifts under the tree. Be upfront with friends and colleagues with whom you will not be able to exchange gifts this year; they will appreciate your honesty and may be relieved to be purchasing fewer gifts themselves.

Ask for help. If your child has his heart set on a gift that does not fit your budget, ask the grandparents to chip in. They will likely be happy to contribute for the pleasure of knowing their grandchild is getting this special gift.

Start early. Research now for the best prices for the gifts you want to buy. Be alert for sales and promotions. Place online orders early enough not to have to pay for express shipping.

Cut back. Carefully consider all of your spending for your typical holiday celebration. Decide which purchases you can cut out without diminishing your celebration. Reuse gift bags and decorations rather than buying new ones. Design and send e-cards rather than spending money and postage on store-bought cards. Give some homemade gifts. Make most of your desserts and side dishes from scratch.

The spirit of Christmas is giving. As God gave His Son to redeem mankind, we give gifts to those we love. Remember that the amount of money you spend does not reflect your love for someone. Instead, it is the thoughtfulness of the gifts that demonstrates your love to your family members. It is more loving and thoughtful to stay within your budget on holiday spending than to go overboard and deal with financial stress in the new year.

For more information on reducing your financial stress, please read my other blogs on financial management and stewardship. My book Honoring God with Your Money is another excellent resource. You may also want to sign up for my free quarterly newsletter.

Buying A Car in 2023: Read This First 

When I bought my car 12 years ago, it was a gently used vehicle with about 18,000 miles. My commute to work is short, and I only put about 6,000 miles on it a year. It has low mileage and is in excellent condition for its age, and I may hold onto my car for another year or two. Yet, car shopping has been on my mind lately.

Car shopping has always been challenging. It is even more so in the current economy. Let’s examine what a buyer in today’s economy is facing. The inventory of car dealerships is lower than usual, interest rates are high, and the prices of new and used cars are higher than before the pandemic. According to Experian, the average cost for a new car is $48,000, and the average monthly payment for a new car is currently $729. If you are considering a low-mileage used car, the average price is $27,000, and the average monthly payment is $528. Car ownership costs are estimated at $300 per month, based on current gasoline prices and driving an estimated 15,000 miles per year.

Before starting the search for a new car, it is crucial to plan ahead.

First, you must review your budget and determine how much you can afford to pay for your next car. Include the total costs of owning your car in your budget, including insurance, property taxes, fuel, and repairs. Edmunds Car Affordability Calculator is a great tool to help you determine the price of the vehicle within your budget based on the payment you can afford.   Generally, your car payment and insurance should consume no more than 10% of your gross income, and your total car costs should be no more than 12%.  

Once you know how much you can afford to pay for your next car, you can use these steps to help you find the right one.

  • Research affordable options before you leave your house. Have a good idea of the models of vehicles you can afford and plan to test drive.
  • Cast a wide net. Check with multiple dealers, as well as online. Be willing to spend more time than you usually would to search for the right vehicle.
  • Buy a reliable vehicle. Take any used vehicle to your mechanic to be inspected before purchasing.
  • Be willing to compromise on features that you might like but are unnecessary. Know which features are essential and which you can live without to stay within your budget.
  • Minimize your monthly payment by saving up to make a significant down payment.
  • Pre-arrange financing with your bank or credit union.  Check with your lending institute to determine the best rate they will offer you. Knowing the interest rate will allow you to accurately calculate your expected payment based on the price of the car you seek. When you invest the time and research in advance, you can confidently accept or reject the dealer’s rate.

A crucial element in making sound financial decisions is to plan. If your car is older, now is the time to set aside money for a future down payment. You will lower your monthly payments with this one step. When your car leaves you stranded, and the repair price is overwhelming, you will feel pressured to buy a car. The temptation to quickly buy a car without researching can lead to regret.

Making wise financial decisions helps you live within your budget and reduce stress. My book Honoring God with Your Money is a great resource to help you better manage your money. Sign up for my quarterly newsletter for even more tips.

Preparing for Retirement?

Did you know that more than 10,000 Americans turn 65 every day? Once you reach that age milestone, you become eligible for Medicare. The retirement decision becomes more feasible when Medicare kicks in. In the next few months, my husband and I will join the ranks of those 65 or older. So, we discuss this topic often. 

Older husband and wife; tips for preparing for retirement

Many factors can influence your decision about when to retire. A few of those factors include your current job satisfaction and savings decisions you made earlier in your career. It is never too early to plan for retirement. Many people are nervous about diving into this overwhelming subject. Keep reading for practical questions to ask yourself about this important yet often scary decision. 

  • How much money will you need to maintain your standard of living? The cost of
    living varies significantly from state to state, community to community and person to person.
    o If you are living well below your means, you can retire early.
    o On the other hand, if you spend everything you make, you will likely have
    to keep working well past full retirement age.
    o Several years before you plan to retire, you need to take a hard look at
    your budget and make changes to live on less. Most retirees find that their
    expenses decline by 20 – 25% after retiring, and your income may
    decrease by more than that.
  • Health insurance. Medical expenses can be high as we age, and individual
    health insurance plans can be costly.
    o If you retire before age 65, you will be responsible for your healthcare
    expenses until you become Medicare-eligible.
    o For my husband and I, the high cost of private health insurance was a
    prime factor in delaying retirement until we were Medicare-eligible.
  • Job satisfaction and leisure activities. Those workers whose jobs provide a high
    degree of satisfaction may find that working past full retirement age is a positive.
    Ask yourself:
    o Do you enjoy your work?
    o Do you get enough time off to satisfy your needs?
    o What will you do to fill your time in retirement?
    o Can you retire from full-time employment but work part-time?

The question of when to retire is an individual decision. What is right for you will not be suitable for someone else. You should consider these questions and pray about your retirement decisions. God will direct you to make the decision that is right for you. Now is the time to act. You can take the suggestions above and learn the keys to successfully managing your retirement. 

For more ideas about how to manage your money and live without financial stress, sign up for my quarterly newsletter. My book Honoring God with Your Money is another great resource.

5 Steps to Prepare Your Child for Financial Success

Teaching financial responsibility falls into the lengthy job description of a parent. The topic of money intimidates many people. Parents feel at a loss about where to start. An excellent place to begin is with their allowance. You can then introduce the idea of saving for items they want to buy. As they age, begin to teach your kids how to balance a checkbook and explain basic financial information.


A recent study found that young adults are most stressed about paying off college debt and lack financial literacy. They are also concerned about their lack of investment knowledge or when to take a risk. These young people believe they will never achieve what their parents did, such as owning a home or the ability to retire at the average retirement age.

Financial education should be a regular part of family discussions. I have created a few beginning steps to help you encourage your child to feel more financially knowledgeable and understand how to manage money early on.

1. Open a bank account for them. You can use the bank statement to show your child the principle of interest and how their balance will grow by their deposits and interest. Set up a small regular deposit and demonstrate how even a tiny recurring deposit will grow to a much more significant amount over the next 5 – 10 years.
2. Ask your young child to select a toy or desired item, then research the price online. Calculate how long it will take to accumulate the money to buy the item if the child saves $1 a week, $5 a week, and $10 a week. This exercise can demonstrate savings accumulation as well as the value of money.
3. Have your teen start saving for their first car. Discuss the total costs of owning a car: car payments, gasoline, insurance, property taxes, maintenance, and repairs. Assist them in determining how much money they need to save each month to afford a car over the next few years.
4. If your child is a teen or young adult, use similar examples to demonstrate how saving a small amount of money each month beginning at age 22 will yield a large sum when they retire.
5. When making a significant purchase for your family, such as buying a new appliance or car, involve your child in the decision-making process. Share with your child what your budget is for the purchase. Let the child help research options within your budget. Discuss how you will pay for the purchase. Have you saved up the money needed? Will you use a “buy now, pay later” plan to purchase furniture or an appliance? Will you take out a loan? If you will borrow money to buy a car, share with your child how you decided whether to borrow from your bank or through dealer financing.


These 5 steps will encourage discussions that will help your child understand the value of money, the power of compound interest, and the cost of borrowing. Instill in your child the value of living beneath your means, long-term savings strategies, and the importance of minimizing debt except for mortgages and other investment opportunities.

For more ideas on how to manage your finance and train your children to use money wisely, my book Honoring God with Your Money is a great resource.

Falling Behind on Your Bills?

If you notice that it is harder to pay your bills lately, you are not alone. The prices of goods and services purchased by the average family have risen by more than $709 a month over the past two years, according to Moody’s Analytics. The higher cost of living stresses family budgets, especially since incomes have not kept up. The Census Bureau announced this week that inflation-adjusted wages fell in 2022 for the third year in a row. As prices are rising, your spending power is declining.

Are you falling behind on your bills? These tips will help you stretch your dollar.

As a financial adviser, now is a good time to re-evaluate your budget and change your discretionary spending before you end up in debt or fall deeper into debt. 

The Washington Post reported last month that the delinquency rate for credit card payments has risen to the highest rate in over a decade. Over the past few years, consumers’ credit card usage has increased significantly. Since 2019, more than 70 million new credit card accounts have been opened, and total credit card debt has topped $1 trillion for the first time.

If you need ideas on making your dollar stretch further, here are some tips to help you manage your money in these tough economic times. 

  • Be intentional with your spending and giving. Adjust your budget for your current spending levels for food, utilities, and other necessities. Then, plan giving and discretionary spending to fit within your budget.
  • Consider cutting back on retirement savings and investments until you are better financially.
  • Look for “extra” sources of cash.  If you got a large tax refund this year, you can access that money now by reducing your payroll withholdings.  
  • Evaluate your car insurance plan and see if you can cut out some coverages or find a less expensive plan; for example, you might have duplicate benefits if you have a medical insurance plan.
  • Reduce your cable bill by eliminating one or more premium channels.
  • Fast one purchase category for a month, such as specialty coffee beverages, massages, new shoes, clothes, or lunches out. Each month, forgo a different spending category. This system allows you to save money without giving up “luxuries” for an extended time.
  • Earn some extra money on Fiverr, Freelance, or Upwork. These freelance job sites provide a way for you to use your talents to earn money when you have a bit of free time.

It is never fun to tighten one’s belt; however, making necessary changes is preferable to running up large credit card balances and feeling stressed due to the inability to meet your obligations.  

As you consider these options, ask God for guidance. He promises wisdom to those who ask Him. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”  James 1:5

My book Honoring God with Your Money offers guidance to help you manage your money according to biblical principles.  

Buy Now Pay Later Apps vs. Credit Cards

As grocery prices continue to rise, you have probably felt the pinch in your family budget. According to Moody Analytics, the average American family is spending $700 more per month on food and other household goods than just two years ago. Incomes have not kept up with inflation. Consumers are looking for options to pay for groceries, and many are turning to Buy Now Pay Later (BNPL) apps. The use of these apps to pay for groceries has risen by 40% in the past year.

Installment plans have been around for decades. Forty years ago, my husband and I bought furniture for our first home using a similar program. We selected the items we wanted and completed a credit application. The store delivered the goods, and we paid for it in 12 payments with no interest accruing. Many furniture companies and other sellers of high-ticket items still use this type of payment plan.  

What’s new is the BNPL apps offer services for all types of purchases, not just large purchases of long-lasting items. Amazon is offering installment plans on many items priced over $50. And many BNPL offer four interest-free payments on groceries and meal deliveries. In most cases, the consumer makes payments every two weeks. These apps provide the convenience of credit card payments but differ in some ways.

  • Credit cards extend interest-free credit for 30 – 60 days. BNPL apps require the first payment at the time of purchase.
  • BNPL allows for small, more frequent payments, whereas credit card balances must be paid in full when the statement is due to avoid interest.
  • Many BNPLs do not have a minimum credit score, so it may be easier for individuals with poor credit to get approved for BNPL purchases.
  • Most BNPLs do not report payment history to credit-reporting bureaus, so using BNPL apps will not help you build your credit history or improve your credit score.
  • If you use BNPL loans regularly, you may have multiple loans open simultaneously, and the loan payments may total more than you can afford to pay.
  • Returns and disputes are more complicated with BNPLs than with credit cards.

Some of the same dangers of using credit cards apply to BNPLs:

  • Users of both credit cards and BNPL apps typically spend more money than they would have if they had paid cash.
  • The buyer consumes the items before paying the last installment. For example, BNPL splits a grocery order into four payments over six weeks. Typically, the person ate the groceries long before the final payment. 
  • Balances not paid off in the interest-free period are subject to very high interest rates. Currently, those rates can be as high as 36%.

Research shows that BNPL users generally have more debt and are under more financial stress than non-users.   Frequent use of BNPL apps can add to your stress as the number of loans and the total payments increase. Of course, irresponsible use of credit cards will also lead to financial stress.

If you are struggling to feed your family during these tough economic times, look for alternatives to buying groceries on credit with either Buy Now Pay Later apps or credit cards. These can include buying more store brands, avoiding grocery shopping and delivery services, building your menus around grocery items on sale, and seeking assistance from your local food pantry.

God does not intend His people to live in financial stress. He has set forth money management principles in His word to help you. To learn more, please read my other blogs on financial management. My book Honoring God with Your Money is another valuable resource you might want to read.

Learning From Your Financial Struggles

Financial struggles are a reality for most people. You can learn from these challenging times whether the problem is something you created or from an external source like an employer who laid you off or an extended hospital stay. Perhaps you invested in an opportunity that seemed to be sound but failed. Whatever the cause of your struggles, it is easy to blame yourself and feel that God is punishing you. What feels like punishment, however, may be God bringing you through a situation to draw you closer to Him.

Recently, I met with a client who shared that his passion for helping people facing food insecurities arose from a time when his finances were tight. The tenderness in his heart directly resulted from his own struggle with money. God saw him through that period and has blessed him, so now he can be a blessing to others. You can turn your personal struggles into a way to bless others. 

If you are going through financial challenges, remember that they will not last forever. You may feel like you are in a pit you will never escape. Try asking God what He wants to show you through this struggle. Remember, many of us have walked through lean financial times. 

Let’s look at what we can learn from financial challenges. 

Ask For Help from God: Learn to depend more fully on God. God cares about every aspect of your life. He wants us to rely on Him entirely. He might even use your financial challenges to remind us that He is all we need. The Lord cares for you and will take care of you. Start by asking Him for what you need. “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”  Matthew 7:7-8

Open Your Heart: Like the client I mentioned above, God uses your time of struggle to open your eyes to the needs of others. If you have experienced homelessness, God may call you to minister to the homeless. If you have been out of work for a time, God may call you to start a business and create jobs. God uses our experiences to give us the insights needed to help others currently in those situations.

Accept The Challenge: Realize that you may be able to live on much less than you had previously thought. Financial challenges force us to make changes to our budgets and lifestyles. You may need to cut premium television channels or not dine out to make ends meet. Rise to the challenge, and you will emerge stronger and able to live comfortably with fewer amenities than before.

Change Your Focus: If your financial challenges mean you must dine out less, embrace cooking at home with your spouse and children. If you must cut back on television and streaming services, pull out a deck of cards or board games and spend quality time with those you love. If your clothing budget has shrunk, make a game out of going to thrift stores to find gently used clothing items that you need. Financial struggles can reawaken your spirit to what is important and give you a better quality of life.

Search For Free: Learn to appreciate “free” activities and quality time with family. Many activities in life do not cost money that you may have overlooked when you had more discretionary spending. Check to see if your community offers free concerts in the park or movie nights; visit state and national historic sites; take bike rides around your neighborhood; attend VBS and other free activities put on by local churches; or spend an afternoon geocaching.  

Receive Humbly: Humble yourself and accept help from others. No matter where you live, you should have access to a local food pantry that will provide food to help you during your down times. Local churches often distribute food at accessible locations throughout your community. Additionally, your local utility may have a program to help those struggling; our utility encourages its customers to donate a few dollars a month to help those in need. If you are struggling to pay rent, you may be able to get help from your church. James 4:10 says, “Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up.”  God often uses others to meet our needs, but we must make our needs known.

Generate Gratitude: Develop an increased level of gratitude for all that you have and God has done for you. Financial struggles are not enjoyable. Yet, for most of us, they are short-lived. And even in our darkest times, we have much more than people in other countries. Try to focus on what you can afford rather than on what you do not have now.

If you are facing a financial struggle right now, please pray, ask God for help, and let others know of your need. If God is blesses you financially in this season, ask Him how you can bless others. Take a few minutes this week to reflect on what you have learned during past times of struggle. Thank God for His care for you, and consider how you can be His hands extended to others in need

Three Strategies for Managing Finances as a Couple

One of my clients recently shared that he and his wife kept their money separate. He believed their system contributed to the success of their 22-year marriage. This concept surprised me; however, one key to a successful marriage is to develop a money management plan that works for the couple.

Arguments over money majorly contribute to marital unhappiness, and financial conflicts factor in about 40% of all divorces. The ideal time to discuss spending habits, bill-paying responsibilities, and saving goals is before a couple marries. It will reduce stress if each person in the relationship understands their partner’s money management philosophy before tying the knot. After marriage, the couple should regularly review their plan and adjust for income changes, family needs, and joint priorities.

It was clear from my client’s comments that he and his wife followed a very different budgeting strategy than the one my husband and I use. And our plan differed from my parents’ approach. I will share these three approaches as alternatives that you might consider for your family.

My Client’s Approach:  My client and his wife are well-educated professionals earning higher-than-average salaries. They split all their bills 50-50, and each partner can decide how to spend, save, or invest their remaining income. They have their own checking accounts and do not answer to each other about how they spend money. He mentioned that they had a joint checking account early in their marriage. After over-drawing their account due to both of them spending money unknown to the other, they decided to maintain separate accounts.  

Advantages of this approach: (1) Each person establishes and maintains their own credit, so their credit decisions do not impact the other’s credit score; (2) there is less chance of overdrawing their accounts; and (3) each spouse feels in control of their own spending decisions, so they avoid arguments.

My Parents’ Approach:  My father served in the Marine Corps during the first 24 years of their marriage. Since he spent months at a time deployed overseas, my mother needed to be able to run the household and pay all the bills. Dad, of course, needed some spending money at his deployment location. Their solution was to determine the amount of funds Mom required to run the household and have a reasonable amount of discretionary spending. Dad transferred that amount to Mom’s bank account each month. Dad kept the rest and spent or invested it as he saw fit.  

Advantages of this approach: (1) Mom managed variable expenses, such as food and clothing, exceptionally well, which gave her a significant amount of discretionary money; (2) there are minimal risks of overdrawing accounts, and (3) each of them had financial independence with regards to discretionary spending.

Our Approach:  My husband and I have dealt with our income and spending more uniquely. We have always combined our income and made spending decisions as a couple. I am the financial person, so I pay the bills and balance the checkbook. My husband does not like to write checks, so the risks of overdrafts are minimal. Fortunately, we are both fiscally responsible and only make large purchases if we discuss it with the other. We have multiple checking, savings, and credit card accounts and alternate who is the primary owner to have well-established credit.

Advantages of this approach: (1) We have open discussions about spending and investing so that we are fully informed of our financial position; (2) we both have excellent credit and nearly equal credit scores; and (3) we never view money as his or hers, so there is not a conflict if one person is unemployed for a period.

It is God’s desire that married couples live in harmony. Developing a money management plan that works for you and your spouse is essential to living in harmony. If you do not have a plan in place that you and your spouse are happy with, pray about the situation and ask God for wisdom to devise a better approach. God promises to supply wisdom to anyone who asks Him for it. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5

My Bible study, Honoring God with Your Money, can give you more steps to manage your money harmoniously with God’s Word.