My long-time friend Cheryl Revell McCulla has captured the beauty of the people of Liberia in a series of paintings. Cheryl paints at her home in Monrovia, Liberia, where she has lived for the past two years. I hope you enjoy this small sample of Cheryl’s artwork.
Yesterday I watched the finale of the Amazing Race as the last three teams standing vied to cross the finish line first and claim the million dollar prize. Each team made a major mistake in the final leg that could have cost them the race.
Art and J.J. appeared to be out of the race when they couldn’t decipher a riddle sending them to twin skyscraper. They bounded back into second place when Rachel and Brendon hurriedly read a clue and missed an important piece of information. Rachel and Dave seemed to have cruised to an easy win, only to be informed that they had missed a challenge. They hurried back to find Art and J.J. in the midst of the challenge. Fortunately for them, Art had a difficult time riding a narrow sled down a hill, while Rachel managed it with ease. Rachel and Dave finished the challenge and were crowned the winners of this seasons Amazing Race.
As I watched the teams partake in extreme challenges, I had no doubt that I would never want to be a contestant on the Amazing Race. Not even if I were young and fit. I have no desire to repel off a 44-story building, as the final three teams did, or to haul buckets of manure as contestants did in a recent episode.
I was reminded, however, that we are all in an amazing race. And this race is for much higher stakes than a million dollars. Our participation in this race will determine our eternal future. Those who “win” the race receive eternal life in Heaven as their reward. In the Amazing Race, there is only one winner; however, in the amazing race of life, we can all win.
Winning the amazing race of life requires accepting Jesus Christ as your Savior. Many people claim that there are other paths to God, but the Bible teaches us that “there is no other name under Heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved.” (Acts 4:12) Salvation is attained simply by acknowledging my need for salvation, believing that Jesus died on the cross as punishment for my sins, and confessing Him as lord of my life.
Winning the amazing race of life requires resisting the temptation to quit or be sidetracked. Contestants in the Amazing Race face roadblocks, detours, and u-turns. Likewise, Satan tries to block our path, send us on detours, and u-turn us back to a life of sin and selfishness through temptation. We can overcome Satan’s wiles by keeping our eyes fixed firmly on Jesus. God promises that He will be there in your moment of temptation. “God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Corintians 10:13)
Winning the amazing race of life requires focus and dedication with your eye firmly on the prize. The Amazing Race contestants are highly motivated, as they want to win the million dollar prize. Paul explained in his first letter to the Corinthians that our goal in life is much more valuable. “Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.” (1 Corinthians 9:25) He said toward the end of his life, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me a crown of righteousness.” (2 Timothy 4: 7 -8)
Winning the amazing race of life involves making mistakes, acknowledging them, and getting back on track. Contestants on the Amazing Race frequently take a wrong turn or misread the instructions and make a mistake. They continue on the wrong path until they realize their mistake and have fallen behind in the race. At that point they have the choice to quit and give up or turn around and keep competing. Sometimes they are able to overcome their mistake and remain in the game; other times they are too far behind and are eliminated. In life, when we acknowledge our mistakes (sins) and seek forgiveness, God promises to forgive our sins. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9) Forgiveness gets us back on track with God.
Rachel and Dave were greeted by the cheers and applause of their competitors as they crossed the finish line and won the Amazing Race. One day my life on Earth will be over and I will be transcended to Heaven where my Savior will be waiting and rejoicing that I have run a good race and have finished the course.
What path are you following in the race of life? Can you look forward with joy and a grateful heart to a life in Heaven and a crown of righteousness? If not, I pray that you will allow Jesus to guide and direct you to the path that leads to eternal glory and reward.
After a long and tiring search, we recently bought a new home. We moved into our new home two weeks ago. 
While I love being in my new house, I have not enjoyed the moving process. I am thoroughly convinced that moving is for the young and that those of us who have passed the half-century mark should stay put. Or, as my husband suggested, we should change addresses without moving any of the stuff–simply leave it all behind and buy new stuff to be delivered to the new house.
As my knees creaked and my back ached from packing boxes and hauling them up and down stairs, I comforted myself with the knowledge that the pleasure of living in the new house would more than compensate for the physical pain I was enduring. In my new house, I have a kitchen large enough to entertain my ever-growing family.
Steve and I can cook together without being in each others way. I look forward to preparing holiday meals in the new kitchen with my mom, sisters, and daughters-in-law. I can’t wait until my grandson and granddaughter are hold enough to sit at the bar and make cookies with grandma. There’s plenty of room for grandchild #3, due to arrive in late October.
The move was made easier by wonderful neighbors, both old and new. As we moved furniture and boxes into our new house, we were welcomed royally into the neighborhood. One neighbor brought us marigolds to plant in our yard, another dropped off freshly baked cookies, and a third gave us strawberries and lettuce straight from his garden. We very much enjoyed and appreciated our neighbors’ generosity.
Some neighbors have gone above and beyond. Twice since we closed the deal on the house, we have pulled into the driveway to find our lawn freshly mowed by our very kind next door neighbor Charlie. Our former, and also very wonderful, next door neighbor Susan offered to take any “stuff” we didn’t want to donate to her church’s garage sale. I’m sure she didn’t expect us to fill her garage. We were grateful to be spared the extra work of hauling our unwanted belongings to the Good Will. Susan even came over and carried much of the donations to her garage for us.
We still have much unpacking to do, and many more items to donate or throw away. But, all our belongings are in our new house and it’s starting to feel like home. While we will miss our old neighbors, we are looking foward to forging many new friendships with our wonderful new neighbors.
CNN Money recently ran an article entitled ‘Moms: I can’t afford to work.’ http://money.cnn.com/2012/04/18/pf/moms-work/index.htm?iid=SF_PF_Highlight The story explains that after subtracting child care and all the other normal expenses associated with working, many moms are finding that it doesn’t pay for them to work. This is true even among college-educated mothers making above average salaries.
Several women were interviewed for the article. One woman, Sunah Hwang, calculated that after paying child care expenses, she would bring home $18,000 and in her words, “It wasn’t worth $18,000 for us to let somebody else raise our son.” I applaud Ms. Hwang and other mothers like her who are making the choice to give up some extra family income to stay home and raise their children. Ms. Hwang explained that the family has made some sacrifices, including family vacations, to get by on one income. It’s not easy, but they are making it work.
I was blessed to be able to stay home with my children when they were young and to work part-time in their schools when they were school-aged. Giving up my job to stay home with my children was a sacrifice I was happy to make, despite the years I had spent in college and graduate school. And in some ways the sacrifices continue even today. After being out of the job market for many years, I don’t have as much work experience as most women my age. I don’t make the salary I would be making if I had been working continuously for the past 30 years. However, I would not trade a higher salary, a more impressive job title, or all the material possessions in the world for the time I spent at home with my children.
Since I was at home full-time, I was able to take care of many of the family chores while Steve worked. This allowed him to spend more time with the boys in the evenings. Steve protected his weekends and evenings to have as much time as possible with our sons. We will reap those benefits for the rest of our lives. Our sons have been raised with our Christian beliefs and strong family values. We have a close relationship with each of them and enjoy spending as much time we can with them. They, in turn, are devoted to their families and are committed to making the sacrifices to allow their wives to stay home with our grandchildren.
I would encourage parents to consider the joys and blessings of having one parent committed to raising the children, even if it makes sense financially for both to work. You will give up some income if one of you quits your job, but the benefits you gain will more than make up for it.
Monique Honaman wrote a blog for the Huffington Post recently in response to a comment she has heard numerous times lately: “I just wish he would have an affair.” The women who have confided this desire assert that they are married to wonderful men whom they no longer love. These wives can not “justify” divorcing husbands who treat them well, love them and their children, and provide for their families. If their husbands would betray them by having affairs, then the woman would be free to leave them without feeling guilty.
Ms. Honaman concluded that she didn’t have an answer for women in this circumstance; however, she postulated two opposing views that she could justify as reasonable responses. Paraphrasing her words, the views would be (1) you made a vow, so stick with the marriage and (2) end the marriage because life is short to be unhappy. You may read Ms. Honaman complete blog at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/monique-honaman/i-just-wish-he-would-have_b_1297919.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl12%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D141998
While the two views Ms. Honoman expresses are probably the two most common responses to a friend’s or acquaintances’s declaration that she is unhappy in her marriage, neither of them offer the guidance that is needed. All marriages go through “dry” times. Love is an emotion that ebbs and flows. Just because a woman does not feel the glow of being in love, doesn’t mean she cannot regain that feeling. So what advise should someone give to a friend who expresses discontent with a good marriage? These are lessons I’ve learned from my own 31-year marriage and observing others, such as my parents who have been married for 57 years.
1) Focus on the attributes that drew you to your husband in the beginning of your relationship. If you are like most brides, you were head over heels in love with him on the day you walked down the aisle. Think back on those days and remember how you felt when your love was new. Your husband is still the same wonderful man you married with the same wonderful qualities.
2) Regularly make time for dates. Marriage needs to be nurtured. When you first began dating your future spouse, few things in your life were more important than spending time with him. In the hecticness of life, time alone with one’s spouse often takes a back seat to work, children, and volunteering. You can’t nurture your relationship if you aren’t spending quality time with your spouse.
3) Create opportunities for growth and fulfillment such as working on a project with your spouse or taking a class together. Having a common goal and achieving it together can restore a sense of unity and accomplishment. In the early days of a marriage, a couple makes plans together, such as starting a family or buying a house. They work together for their mutual happiness and fulfillment. As those goals are met, it’s easy for couple to become complacent. Set new goals and dreams that will carry you into old age.
4) Look beyond your present unhappiness and envision the happy times ahead for the two of you. If you have children, you can look forward to their graduations and marriages and future grandchildren. Plan a special trip to commerate a significant anniversary. Dream about the places you’ll go and the things you will do after retirement.
5) Remember your vows. You pledged to love this man through better or worse, in sickness and in health, til death you do part. At the end of the ceremony, the minister pronounced you husband and wife. He did not say “And they lived happily ever after.” Of course you want to be happy and you deserve to be happy. But happiness is fleeting. No one is happy all the time, and no one is unhappy all the time. If you stay true to your vows and work at loving your husband, it is very likely that happiness will return and that you will be even happier than you were in the past.
If you are unhappy in your marriage, I would urge to carefully consider the cost of divorce. Not only is divorce the biggest financial mistake you can make, it is one that many people regret. It is likely that you are married to the love of your life–you just need to make an effort to rekindle the love that lead you to marry him.
This week I had the opportunity to hear former POW Paul Galanti speak about his experiences during nearly 7 years of confinement in North Vietnam’s Hanoi Hilton. It’s hard to imagine a tougher situation to find one’s self in, yet Commander Galanti began by saying that there were positive aspects of his confinement. Although he mentioned some of the extreme hardships, he focused his remarks on those positive experiences.
The men who were confined together, some for as long as 9 years, formed bonds that are strong nearly 40 years after their release. They keep in touch and hold periodic reunions. No one complains if the service isn’t perfect at the reunions–they know what hardship is and it is not having a meal that is less than perfect.
Although Commander Galanti did not reference God or faith in his remarks, it was evident that the men were sustained by faith. They had faith that they would survive the ordeal. They had faith that the government and their loved ones were doing all they could do affect their release. They also had faith in the human will to overcome the darkest of situations.
The most fascinating part was when he described how strong his memory was during the days of solitary confinement. All the lessons from his college courses came back to him in minute details. Later, when he was reunited with a larger group of men, the college-educated among them taught what they had learned to the others. Upon release, former prisoners were awarded up to 120 credit hours for materials taught to them by their fellow captives.
So, what lessons can we learn from Commander Galanti and his imprisonment.
1) The mind needs periods of silence. Commander Galanti was able to recall his college lessons clearly only because he was in solitary confinement and spending long periods in silence. The Bible teaches us to ” Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) We need periods of silence and solitude to reflect on God’s Word and to hear his voice.
2) We can survive whatever life throws our way. Commander Galanti and the other men in the Hanoi Hilton faced hardships that most of us cannot even fathom. Yet, they not only survived but they rose above their circumstances. God promises that He will be with us in all circumstances and “He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.” (1 Corinthians 10:13) There must have been many times when the prisoners were tempted to give up, but they remained strong and determined to survive their terrible circumstance.
3) Being connected with others is important. For the prisoners of war, communication with each other was their life blood, despite the extreme punishment they endured if caught. Through their clandestine communications they got to know one other and encouraged each other in the darkest times. The Bible teaches Christians that they should “not give up meeting together” but should “encourage one another.” (Hebrews 10:25) We need the support and encouragement of our Christian brothers and sisters.
4) It is important to be optimistic and have hope. The prisoners were confident that their confinement would end one day. They were sure that the end was in sight and would come within six months or a year. They continued to be optimistic as the months stretched to years. They looked forward to the day they would be released and returned to their families. God wants us to have hope, too. He has promised good to us, even though we may be going through a dark period. Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that God has “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
5) Good can come out of terrible circumstances. The men who were held captive in the Hanoi Hilton could have become bitter and angry about their circumstances. But they didn’t. They chose to redeem their time to help one another and to better themselves. Several of the former prisoners, including Senator John McCain, have served in prominent positions in our government. The Bible teaches us that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” (Romans 8:28)
We often face difficult circumstances, but most of us will never face the hardships that compare to those of the American servicemen imprisoned in Vietnam. We should strive to follow their example of rising above our circumstances to look for the good in life and be all that God has intended us to be.
It was an honor and a privilege to hear Commander Gilanti speak. I was uplifted by his message of optimism. Nearly 40 years after his release, he continues to spread his message and improve the lives of others through his work. He serves as an inspiration to all of us.
What hardships are you facing today? Will you strive to rise above your circumstances and face the world with hope and optimism, striving to be the man or woman God created you to be? Will you allow God to give you hope for a better future?
After months of house hunting, we put in an offer on a house today. Overall, we really like the house and it meets all our needs. However, it has two features that are on my list of pet peeves in houses: the master bedroom closet is in the bathroom and there is no porch or covering over the front entry.
I wonder what brilliant designer/architect/home builder first decided to that it would be a good idea to force a homeowner to walk through their bedroom to get to their closet. It must have been someone of substantial influence in the home building world, as this feature has been found in many of the homes we have seen during our home search. It doesn’t make any sense to me, and logic dictates that it can’t be good for clothing to be exposed to the high humidity of a bathroom. If our offer is accepted on this house, our first order of business upon taking possession will be to have the bathroom and closet remodeled.
I don’t understand why anyone would build a house without a front porch or at least a portico over the stoop. On rainy days, I don’t want my guests exposed to the elements until I can open the door and allow them to enter the house. Also, a porch or portico adds architectural interest. Obviously, it’s cheaper to install a front door with a simple stoop, but I find those designs don’t have the curb appeal of a house with a grander front entry. If we wind up buying this house, adding a portico will be high on our “must-do” list.
This experience led me to enumerate other house design pet peeves of mine.
1) Cook top in the island. I like to have a large counter space for chopping vegetables, baking cakes, and other food preparation. The island is the ideal spot and having the cook top in the island interferes with that. I won’t even consider a home with this pet peeve. I look forward to my grandchildren being old enough to sit around the island and help me make cookies.
2) Kitchen counter visible from front door. I don’t want my kitchen counter to be the first thing guests see as they come in my front door. If I had a kitchen with that design, I would have to keep my kitchen spotless all the time. There’s no possibility of that happening, so I eliminate houses with that design from my search.
3) Laundry room/closet in the kitchen. Fortunately we haven’t seen this often but we have seen it. My kitchen is the hub of my house and there is more than enough going on in there without having to deal with laundry there.
4) No foyer. Most of the houses we’ve looked at had at least a small foyer, but a few have come straight into the living room and one entered into the kitchen. That will not do for me.
5) Carpet in the bathroom. We aren’t seeing this often but we have seen it in a few homes. I suppose those homeowners liked the warmth carpeting provides, but I think it would be difficult to keep clean. At least this pet peeve is easily and relatively inexpensively fixed.
6) Walk up basements. Our preference is that the basement door be at walkout level. If that isn’t feasible, we would prefer no basement entry, as walk up basements are prone to flooding. This is one pet peeved that cannot be changed, so those houses don’t make it on our list of contenders.
7) Laundry in basement. We currently have a colonial home with a basement laundry room. It does provide for a spacious laundry area, but I am tired of carrying laundry up and down two flights of stairs. We’ll save those houses for homebuyers with younger legs.
8) Tiny showers. The home we are trying to buy has a shower that is larger than a cruise ship shower but not by much. I’m not sure that I could shave my legs in that shower. While we are remodeling the bathroom to get the closet out of it, we will be increasing the size of the shower considerably. We’ll probably add a built-in seat while we’re at it. My husband will much prefer that to me refusing to shave my legs.
Those are the top 10 things we are trying to avoid in our next home. We realize it is unlike we will find the “perfect” house without any of these features. However, we will only consider houses that can be modified to eliminate any pet peeves.
What are your biggest pet peeves when it comes to house features? What will make you say “no way” to buying a house you otherwise like?
I have been pondering my One Word for 2012 for two months now and have finally chosen ‘Intentional’ as my word for the year. When I began considering what my focus for the year should be, I recalled a note a co-worker wrote me upon her retirement a few years ago. She thanked me for reminding her “to keep the important things the important things.” I wasn’t aware that I had ever done that, but I appreciated the compliment and have tried to live up to it. Of course, I fail more often than I succeed but I keep trying.
In trying to find a word which would encompass “focusing on the important things,” I considered thoughtful, purposeful, and balanced, before deciding on intentional. The dictionary definition of intentional is “done with intent or purpose; deliberate.” I want to live my life with purpose and be deliberate in my actions.
My goal for 2012 is to be intentional in focusing my time and energy on what is truly important rather than simply responding to situations that present themselves. This will require me to set priorities and take actions that will help me to accomplish my priorities.
This year I want to be intentional (1) in getting deeper into God’s Word and growing closer to Him, (2) in seeking His will for every aspect of my life, (3) in putting relationships ahead of accomplishing a to-do list, and (4) in taking steps to maintain my health, which will include losing weight and exercising more. I want to intentionally choose activities that will enhance my life and my relationships rather than those that simply fill my time.
Living intentionally this year will mean that I will spend less time mindlessly watching whatever show happens to be on television or surfing the Internet, less time playing Solitaire and Angry Birds, and less time stressing over situations that may or may not occur and that won’t matter to me a week later. I’m sure I will fail often–it’s so easy to fall back into old habits–but my hope is that by making a deliberate decision to live intentionally, I will move closer to my goal of focusing my attention on the truly important things in life. As I do that I will come closer to accomplish my life goal of bringing honor and glory to God in all that I do.
Wishing a very special Valentine’s Day to two little people who have captured my heart completely.
From the moment we first learned we were to be grandparents, Steve and I were filled with love for our unborn grandchild. We were so delighted to meet Daniel and have enjoyed every moment of watching him grow from a baby to a toddler. He is full of energy and discovering new skills daily.
We were overjoyed to learn last spring that a second grandchild–to be Daniel’s cousin–was expected at Christmas time. Again our hearts filled with love for this child that we did not yet know but whose birth was greatly anticipated. Brooklyn arrived 6 weeks ago to everyone’s great delight. She is a good natured baby who loves to be held and cuddled.
Every moment we spend with Daniel and Brooklyn brings love and joy to our hearts. As Steve and I celebrate our 35th Valentine’s Day together, we are truly very blessed. God has given us three amazing sons, two beautiful daughters-in-law, and two very precious grandchildren. Our hearts are filled with love and gratitude to God for His amazing blessings and His love for us.
Fellow OakTara author Bruce Judisch reviewed my second novel, Reconciliations, in his blog yesterday: http://www.brucejudisch.blogspot.com/
Bruce has three novels currently in print. I haven’t read them yet, but they all sound intriguing. I am particularly looking forward to reading Bruce’s two-volume series, A Prophet’s Tale. In these books, Bruce examines the world of Ninevah and Jonah’s struggles with obeying God’s command to preach repentance to the Ninevites. For more information on Bruce Judisch and his writing, please see http://www.oaktara.com/BruceJudisch.
If you would like to read a sample of Reconciliations, please email me at susan@susaneball.com. I would be happy to email you the first few chapters, so you can decide if you want to read the book.
Susan's Reflections 
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