The eighth fruit of the Spirit is gentleness. When I think of gentleness, I picture a mother lovingly cradling her baby in her arms. She carefully supports her infant’s head, providing the nourishment and love the child needs. Paul describes this in his first letter to the Thessalonians: “We were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children” (1 Thessalonians 2:7).
It’s natural to be gentle with an infant or an elderly person who is frail and in need of assistance. But it’s not always easy to be gentle when you’re bailing someone out of trouble or when they’ve wronged you.
- How do you respond to the person who has failed to repay the money they borrowed from you?
- How do you react to the person who just caused significant damage to your vehicle?
- How do you assist a relative who has gotten himself into a financial mess—again?
Hopefully, you respond with gentleness and the love of Christ.
True gentleness can be defined as “treating others as you want to be treated; showing mercy and forgiveness without judgment.” In terms of money, gentleness can be applied to helping someone in need in a way that maintains their dignity and self-esteem. This means offering financial assistance without judgment. If I am showing gentleness, I cannot berate someone for their financial difficulties. In fact, gentleness may even require me to forgive the debt they owe me, just as Christ forgave my much larger debt.
Gentleness in Helping Others
If the Lord has provided for your needs, He expects you to help others: “But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?” (1 John 3:17).
It’s easy to feel compassion and gently help someone who has faced financial setbacks due to illness, an accident, a job layoff, or a national economic downturn. But it can be more difficult to extend compassion to someone who has mismanaged their money, lived beyond their means, or made reckless investments in hopes of getting rich quickly. You might even feel that their difficulties are the result of sin and find yourself reluctant to help. However, gentleness compels us to help others without making them feel ashamed. Galatians 6:1 reminds us, “If someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.”
If you struggle with gentleness, remember that fortunes can change quickly. Today, you might be in a position to give, but tomorrow, you might need help yourself: “Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle” (Proverbs 23:5).
Offering Assistance with Gentleness
Seek God’s direction before offering help: “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy” (James 3:17).
Consider how you would want to be approached for assistance and follow the Golden Rule: “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31).
Offer assistance discreetly and with humility: “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So, when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing” (Matthew 6:1–3).
Offer help not to seek praise from others, but as an opportunity to share the gospel: “Nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, when we might have made demands as apostles of Christ. But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. So, affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us” (1 Thessalonians 2:6–8).
Practical Ways to Assist Someone Financially with Gentleness
- Pay a bill anonymously.
- Send a check with a note that says, “The Lord instructed me to give this to you.”
- Drop off a bag of groceries or a gift card to a grocery store.
- Pay attention to their needs and purchase specific items to meet those needs.
- Offer them an opportunity to do paid work for you, such as:
- Yard work
- Home repairs and maintenance
- Errands and/or shopping
- Housecleaning
- Temporary work at your business (e.g., seasonal sales or extra labor for large jobs)
- Contract work for your business (e.g., website design, bookkeeping, marketing, or janitorial services)
Conclusion:
Gentleness is more than just a soft-spoken demeanor; it is an intentional choice to treat others with dignity, compassion, and humility, especially when it comes to our financial dealings. Whether helping someone in need, forgiving a debt, or practicing patience in difficult financial situations, gentleness reflects Christ’s love and grace in practical ways. As we cultivate this fruit of the Spirit, we not only honor God, but we also create an environment of peace, trust, and healing in our relationships with others.
Ask God to open your eyes to those in need around you and pray for wisdom to meet those needs, as led by the Holy Spirit, with gentleness and a heart that reflects His love. Let gentleness guide you in your financial decisions and interactions, and watch how it transforms not only your heart but the lives of those around you. May we continue to be faithful stewards of the resources God has entrusted to us, using gentleness as a reflection of His love in all things.
Discussion Questions:
- How can you apply gentleness when helping someone with a financial need, especially if their situation is a result of poor financial decisions? How can you balance compassion and wisdom in such situations?
- What are some ways gentleness can influence how you manage your own finances? For example, how might gentleness affect your approach to budgeting, saving, or giving?
- In what areas of your life do you struggle to show gentleness in your financial interactions, whether it’s forgiving a debt, giving to others, or paying your bills on time? How can you ask God for help in those areas?
- Think about a time when you needed financial help or guidance. How did the gentleness or lack thereof from others impact your relationship with them? How can you practice gentleness in your own financial dealings to build trust and understanding?
Susan's Reflections 
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