Category: Life Observations

Handling Disappointment with Class

On Tuesday, the Washington Redskins cut Chris Cooley, despite Cooley being one of the most loved members of the team.  Like many, many other Redskins fans, I cried as Cooley, choking back tears, said goodbye to the fans whose cheers of “Cooooooooooley” have rocked FedEx Stadium.

In saying goodbye, Cooley displayed great class and provides a great example for others who face disappointment, particularly job loss.  Four major themes that echoed through his farewell speech were gratitude, lack of bitterness, best wishes for those who let him go, and a hope that he might one day return.

1) Be grateful for the opportunity.  Cooley had a rare opportunity to play football in the NFL.  Many boys dream of that but few make it.  Cooley expressed his thanks to the team, the media and his friends.  He recognized that, “This organization has changed my life in every way for the better, and I appreciate it.”

2)  Allow no bitterness or hard feelings to cloud your feelings. Cooley made it clear that while he was very disappointed in the team’s decision, he is not bitter about it.  He recognized that the coaches had to make the best decision they could for the team.  He expressed that as, “There’s really no hard feelings from me….I’ve trusted everything that they’ve done and everything that they want to do, and even though I’m not a part of that today, I still do believe in what they’re doing.”

3) Wish your former employers all the best. Cooley has been the heart of the Redskins for the past 8 years and his passions for the ‘Skins will not end just because he is no longer playing for them.  He expressed his good wishes by saying, “I can’t tell you how much I think of this staff and the players on this team. I’m thrilled for what they can accomplish and I wish everyone here the best.”

4) Leave the door open for a future relationship.  Right now, it appears likely that Chris Cooley will never again play for the Washington Redskins. However, the future is not certain.  Football is a sport where trades abound and cut players are re-signed when another player is injured or fails to live up to expectations.  Cooley left the door open to return by not burning his bridges. He also expressed the hope that he might return, when he said “so today, for the time being, will be my last day as a Redskin.”

My husband faced a similar situation four years ago when he was laid off from his job.  He too acted with great class.  He thanked his employer for the opportunity to work for him for five years, he was never bitter toward his former boss, he hoped and prayed for his boss’s success, and he let his boss know that he was open to returning to work there when the company’s situation improved.  Consequently, he was rehired more than three years later.

I don’t know what is in store for Chris Cooley.  I can only hope and pray that one day the Redskins will realize they still need Cooley.  I long to hear the chants of “Coooooooley” from the faithful fans of the ‘Skins.  In the meantime, I wish Cooley great success on whatever team picks him up.  And after his football days are over, I wish him continued success.  Chris Cooley is a class act and we would be wise to follow his example when we are faced with disappointment.

For those who would like to read Chris Cooley’s farewell speech, the full text follows:

“The Washington Redskins are releasing me today, so today, for the time being, will be my last day as a Redskin. It’s been awesome. I’ve been very, very fortunate to play for a franchise that has embraced me and for a fan base that has embraced me the way that they have. This organization has changed my life in every way for the better, and I appreciate it. I’ve loved every minute of playing here, and it’s been a good run. It’s been a pleasure. I guess, for me, I’ll take some time and decide what I want to do moving forward. I have every belief that I can play football. I have every belief that I can be not only a productive player but a starter in this league. I’m very confident in my abilities to continue to play the game. It would be a tough decision for me to put on another jersey. It’s something that I really never had to imagine, so for now, I’ll take some time and make sure what I do in the future is exactly what I want to do.

“Again, it’s been a pleasure to be a part of this team. I’m so excited for the group of guys and the coaches that are here this year. I think that there’s a lot in store for the Redskins. I think the future’s awesome. [His phone rings – “Now I feel bad.”] I can’t tell you how much I think of this staff and the players on this team. I’m thrilled for what they can accomplish and I wish everyone here the best.

“There’s really no hard feelings from me. I’ve had good talks with Bruce Allen. It’s been – he’s been great. I talked to all the coaches, and it’s OK that – it’s OK with me the direction they’re moving. Since Bruce and Mike have been here, I’ve trusted everything that they’ve done and everything that they want to do, and even though I’m not a part of that today, I still do believe in what they’re doing.

“I want to thank all you guys. Our media has been so, so good to me. I appreciate everything. [Chokes back tears] I’m sorry. I’m a baby. I appreciate everything you guys have done for me. I guess, finally, just to say thank you to our fans [voice wavering] … it’s been great. Thank you.”

Overlooking the Obvious

I can take no credit for the following story.  It’s been around for many years and a guest speaker at church repeated it recently.  It is a great example, however, of how we can get so rapped up in what we are doing that we “miss the forest for the trees.”

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
 
Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
 
“What does that tell you?” Holmes asked.
 
Watson pondered for a minute. “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
 
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.  “Watson, you idiot.  Somebody has stolen our tent!”

 

May this story be a reminder to us all to pay attention to the details but to also look at the bigger picture of what is going on around us.

“How Can I Help?”

“Those of us who are strong and able in the faith need to step in and lend a hand to those who falter, and not just do what is most convenient for us.  Strength is for service, not status.  Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, “How can I help?”  Romans 15:1-2 (The Message)

I came across this verse in my devotions yesterday.  In the New King James Version the verse read, “We then who are strong ought to bear with the scruples of the weak, and not to please ourselves.  Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification.”

Of course, I’ve read this verse many times before as I’ve studied the book of Romans, but yesterday it really grabbed my attention.  I think it was “scruples” that popped out at me.  It seemed an odd word to be in the Bible, and in fact, the King James uses the word “infirmities.”  At any rate, my curiosity was piqued and I pulled out a few other translations to see how they put it.

These verses were a reminder to me that God commands His people to look around them to see how they can help their neighbors.  From the story of the Good Samaritan, I know that my neighbor is any person God puts in my path.  I need to be watchful for others who need a hand and offer mine.  The needs may be spiritual, emotional, physical, or financial.  God doesn’t expect me to solve everyone’s problems, but He does expect me to offer service to those He brings to my attention.

The popular Bible teacher Bruce Wilkinson (author of The Prayer of Jabez and The Dream Giver) personalizes this question to open doors of opportunity to help others without interferring where he is not wanted.  When he feels the Holy Spirit impressing upon him to offer assistance to someone, he approaches them and simply asks “How may I help you?”  It is direct and to the point.  Often the person’s first reaction is to deny needing his help.  When Bruce persists, they open up and share their problems.  Sometimes God directs Bruce to meet the need immediately by giving the person money; other times God direct Bruce to provide godly counsel; and occasionally Bruce simply prays for the person.  Bruce based his approach on the example of Elisha the prophet in the story of the Widow’s Oil (2 Kings 4:1 – 7).

The key to being of service to others is to be open to the nudge of the Holy Spirit that a person in your vicinity is in need and God is going to use you to help in the situation.   I urge you to pray that your heart will be attuned to the nudging of the Holy Spirit to assist someone in need today.  As you look around, ask “How can I help?”

If  God has directed you through the nudging of the Holy Spirit to recognize and assist to a person in need, please consider sharing your story as a means of encouraging others.

Having Sons = Trips to the ER

Having raised three energetic sons, my husband and I have made many trips to the emergency room. We recounted some of them as we sat in the ER last night with our son Jon who had been injured playing indoor flag football.  Jon went deep for a long pass, got tangled up with a defender, and fell headfirst into the wall surrounding the field.  Much of the wall is plexiglass so spectators can watch the game; however, this particular corner section was wooden.  Jon had a mild concussion, a sprained wrist, and a gash in his head requiring seven staples.

I should add that Jon is 25, married, and the father of a nearly 2-year old son.  Jon first decided to join the adult flag football league a year and a half ago.  He tore his ACL in the first game and had to sit out an entire year.  He played his first full season earlier this year relatively injury free.  This second ten-week season has been a different story.  He fractured his left thumb in a game three weeks ago but continued to play.  His team was playing for the division championship last night, so Steve and I decided we should go to cheer him on.  His wife Ashley stayed home with their little one. He played about 10 minutes before being injured.  Hearing his head crash into the wall, my maternal instincts kicked in.  I hurried down the sidelines to see him sitting up and alert, with blooding running down the side of his head behind his ear.  I knew immediately that Steve and I would be making the trip to the ER with him.

Jon’s latest injury required seven staples.

Since our sons are all in the mid-twenties, it would be logical for this to have been our first ER visit with an injured son in many years, but that is not the case.  We hurried to the ER in the early hours of a cold morning in January of this year after our oldest son Chris scalded his hand with hot oil.  (See Jan. 7 blog for details.)

When our sons were at home, we made numerous visits to the doctor’s office or the ER for stitches and occasionally to set a broken bone.  We had particularly a scary visit when Matt at age 6 got a twig in his eye; the eye quickly swelled and Matt screamed in pain.  After it was removed, he could not read even the largest letter on the eye chart. He had to wear a patch for two weeks and, thankfully, his vision was fine when th patch was removed.  The bloodiest injury was when Chris gashed his foot on an oyster shell.  Blood poured from his foot.  Because oyster shells are full of bacteria, the doctor could not stitch his foot.  The gash had to be left open and the foot soaked for several days to prevent infection.  It continued to bleed for hours.

Jon and Ashley are expecting their second son in October.   Their first son is as busy and active as his father was at that age and I sure the new one will be as well.  Although I wish it weren’t so, I have no doubt that these little boys will have their fair share of injuries and that Jon and Ashley have many trips to the ER ahead of them.  It’s simply unavoidable when you’re raising sons.

Lessons Learned from a Former POW

This week I had the opportunity to hear former POW Paul Galanti speak about his experiences during nearly 7 years of confinement in North Vietnam’s Hanoi Hilton.  It’s hard to imagine a tougher situation to find one’s self in, yet Commander Galanti began by saying that there were positive aspects of his confinement.  Although he mentioned some of the extreme hardships, he focused his remarks on those positive experiences. 

The men who were confined together, some for as long as 9 years, formed bonds that are strong nearly 40 years after their release.  They keep in touch and hold periodic reunions.  No one complains if the service isn’t perfect at the reunions–they know what hardship is and it is not having a meal that is less than perfect.

Although Commander Galanti did not reference God or faith in his remarks, it was evident that the men were sustained by faith.  They had faith that they would survive the ordeal.  They had faith that the government and their loved ones were doing all they could do affect their release.  They also had faith in the human will to overcome the darkest of situations.

The most fascinating  part was when he described how strong his memory was during the days of solitary confinement.  All the lessons from his college courses came back to him in minute details.  Later, when he was reunited with a larger group of men, the college-educated among them taught what they had learned to the others.  Upon release, former prisoners were awarded up to 120 credit hours for materials taught to them by their fellow captives.

So, what lessons can we learn from Commander Galanti and his imprisonment.

1)  The mind needs periods of silence. Commander Galanti was able to recall his college lessons clearly only because he was in solitary confinement and spending long periods in silence.   The Bible teaches us  to ” Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)  We need periods of silence and solitude to reflect on God’s Word and to hear his voice.

2) We can survive whatever life throws our way.  Commander Galanti and the other men in the Hanoi Hilton faced hardships that most of us cannot even fathom.  Yet, they not only survived but they rose above their circumstances.  God promises that He will be with us in all circumstances and “He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.”  (1 Corinthians 10:13)  There must have been many times when the prisoners were tempted to give up, but they remained strong and determined to survive their terrible circumstance.

3) Being connected with others is important.  For the prisoners of war, communication with each other was their life blood, despite the extreme punishment they endured if caught.  Through their clandestine communications they got to know one other and encouraged each other in the darkest times. The Bible teaches Christians that they should “not give up meeting together” but should “encourage one another.”  (Hebrews 10:25)  We need the support and encouragement of our Christian brothers and sisters.

4) It is important to be optimistic and have hope.  The prisoners were confident that their confinement would end one day.  They were sure that the end was in sight and would come within six months or a year.  They continued to be optimistic as the months  stretched to years.  They looked forward to the day they would be released and returned to their families.  God wants us to have hope, too.  He has promised good to us, even though we may be going through a dark period.  Jeremiah 29:11 tells us that God has “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” 

5) Good can come out of terrible circumstances.  The men who were held captive in the Hanoi Hilton could have become bitter and angry about their circumstances.  But they didn’t.  They chose to redeem their time to help one another and to better themselves.  Several of the former prisoners, including Senator John McCain, have served in prominent positions in our government.  The Bible teaches us that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him.” (Romans 8:28)

We often face difficult circumstances, but most of us will never face the hardships that compare to those of the American servicemen imprisoned in Vietnam.  We should strive to follow their example of rising above our circumstances to look for the good in life and be all that God has intended us to be.

It was an honor and a privilege to hear Commander Gilanti speak.  I was uplifted by his message of optimism.  Nearly 40 years after his release, he continues to spread his message and improve the lives of others through his work.  He serves as an inspiration to all of us.

What hardships are you facing today?  Will you strive to rise above your circumstances and face the world with hope and optimism, striving to be the man or woman God created you to be?  Will you allow God to give you hope for a better future?

Who Put the Closet in the Bathroom?

After months of house hunting, we put in an offer on a house today.  Overall, we really like the house and it meets all our needs. However, it has two features that are on my list of pet peeves in houses:  the master bedroom closet is in the bathroom and there is no porch or covering over the front entry.

I might not mind the closet being in the bathroom if it were as well-designed as this one.

I wonder what brilliant designer/architect/home builder first decided to that it would be a good idea to force a homeowner to walk through their bedroom to get to their closet.  It must have been someone of substantial influence in the home building world, as this feature has been found in many of the homes we have seen during our home search.  It doesn’t make any sense to me, and logic dictates that it can’t be good for clothing to be exposed to the high humidity of a bathroom.  If our offer is accepted on this house, our first order of business upon taking possession will be to have the bathroom and closet remodeled. 

Not a bad house, but it would be much nicer with a portico covering the entry.

I don’t understand why anyone would build a house without a front porch or at least a portico over the stoop.  On rainy days, I don’t want my guests exposed to the elements until I can open the door and allow them to enter the house.  Also, a porch or portico adds architectural interest.  Obviously, it’s cheaper to install a front door with a simple stoop, but I find those designs don’t have the curb appeal of a house with a grander front entry.  If we wind up buying this house, adding a portico will be high on our “must-do” list.

  This experience led me to enumerate other house design pet peeves of mine. 

1)      Cook top in the island.  I like to have a large counter space for chopping vegetables, baking cakes, and other food preparation.  The island is the ideal spot and having the cook top in the island interferes with that.  I won’t even consider a home with this pet peeve.  I look forward to my grandchildren being old enough to sit around the island and help me make cookies.

2)      Kitchen counter visible from front door.  I don’t want my kitchen counter to be the first thing guests see as they come in my front door.  If I had a kitchen with that design, I would have to keep my kitchen spotless all the time.  There’s no possibility of that happening, so I eliminate houses with that design from my search.

3)      Laundry room/closet in the kitchen.  Fortunately we haven’t seen this often but we have seen it.  My kitchen is the hub of my house and there is more than enough going on in there without having to deal with laundry there.

4)      No foyer.  Most of the houses we’ve looked at had at least a small foyer, but a few have come straight into the living room and one entered into the kitchen. That will not do for me.

5)      Carpet in the bathroom.  We aren’t seeing this often but we have seen it in a few homes.  I suppose those homeowners liked the warmth carpeting provides, but I think it would be difficult to keep clean.  At least this pet peeve is easily and relatively inexpensively fixed.

6)      Walk up basements.  Our preference is that the basement door be at walkout level.  If that isn’t feasible, we would prefer no basement entry, as walk up basements are prone to flooding.  This is one pet peeved that cannot be changed, so those houses don’t make it on our list of contenders.

7)      Laundry in basement.  We currently have a colonial home with a basement laundry room.  It does provide for a spacious laundry area, but I am tired of carrying laundry up and down two flights of stairs.  We’ll save those houses for homebuyers with younger legs.

8)      Tiny showers.  The home we are trying to buy has a shower that is larger than a cruise ship shower but not by much.  I’m not sure that I could shave my legs in that shower.  While we are remodeling the bathroom to get the closet out of it, we will be increasing the size of the shower considerably.  We’ll probably add a built-in seat while we’re at it.  My husband will much prefer that to me refusing to shave my legs.

Those are the top 10 things we are trying to avoid in our next home.  We realize it is unlike we will find the “perfect” house without any of these features.  However, we will only consider houses that can be modified to eliminate any pet peeves.

What are your biggest pet peeves when it comes to house features?  What will make you say “no way” to buying a house you otherwise like?

Groundhog Day Reflections

 

Groundhog Day was my great-grandmother Loflin’s favorite holiday.  I have no idea why she was so fascinated with this day.  It’s really not a holiday at all, but rather a celebration.  I do remember vividly how excited Grandma Loflin would be to find out Punxsutawney Phil’s prediction for the end of winter. Ironically, she died on Groundhog Day 1963.  After all these years, the arrival of February 2nd always makes me think of her.

Phil Connors and Punxsutawney Phil

In 1993, the movie Groundhog Day was made starring Bill Murray.  As soon as I heard of it, my interest was piqued and it quickly became one of my favorites.  I love watching Murray’s character, Phil Connors, transform from a selfish, womanizer into a warm, caring individual.

Against his opposition, Connors is assigned to cover the annual Groundhog Day festivities in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.  A major snowstorm forces the crew to spend another night in the small town.  Connors awakens to find that it is again Groundhog Day.  He is forced to relive Groundhog Day repeatedly, with seemingly no end.  He reacts initially with anger, violence, and even by committing suicide, only to reawaken to yet another Groundhog Day celebration.

Eventually Connors stops fighting his new reality and begins to change.  He uses each new Groundhog Day to learn more about the members of his news team and to fall in love with the people of Punxsutawney.  He becomes the polar opposite of what he had been.  He genuinely cares for people and goes out of his way to help others.  In fact, by the end, he is the most loved man in town.

The transformation of Phil Connors in Groundhog Day parallels the changes Christians undergo as God works to shape their lives in accordance with His Word and His plans for their lives.  Removing negative qualities and replacing them with godly characteristics is the goal of the purification process God sends our way through tests and trials.  In the book of James we are told, “the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”  (James 1:3, 4)  And in Romans 5: 3, 4 we read “suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

Phil Connors went through a time of suffering and testing to become a man he was meant to be.  God brings trials and tests to our lives to help us become the people he wants us to be.  If we fail the test, He brings another one our way. As we pass each test, we become more mature and take another step toward completion.  The trials refine our character and increase our hope in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.

It took Phil Connors a long time to grow and mature into a warm, caring man.  I pray that I respond to God much more quickly and that I allow the trials God sends my way to refine and purify me.

Rehired: 6 Tips for Getting Your Old Job Back

Millions of laid-off workers are still unemployed and would like nothing better than for their former employers to call and offer them their old jobs back.  This is the situation my husband has been in for most of the last three years. 

After sending out countless resumes and going on a few interviews, he was still unemployed. We’d examined many options for a second career for him.  We kept coming up empty. The bottom line was, he liked his former job and he was good at it. His preferred option was for his former employer to re-hire him, even if it was only part-time or if it involved a pay cut.

Three weeks ago he got the call he had been hoping and praying for.  His former company has some projects right now that they need his help on.  There is no guarantee that they’ll still need him in a few months, but for now, we are grateful that he has work.

Steve took care when he was laid-off to maintain his work relationships and not burn his bridges. I am sharing the following tips from my observations of my husband’s journey back to re-employment in the hopes that they may help someone who is in the midst of the difficult situation Steve was in.

1) Understand your employer is having a difficult time too.  You company is laying off workers in an effort to save their company.  Your employer did not cause the current economic crisis.  The company is a victim just as much as you are.

2) Be grateful for the opportunities your former employer gave you while you worked there.  Speak positively of your former employer at job interviews. Even if you never want to work for your former company again, you may need a reference from your old boss.  Also, companies that are hiring are looking for employees with positive attitudes.

3) Keep in touch.  Drop by or call from time to time. Let your former boss know you are still looking for work.  A door may open for you to go back to work at your old job, or your former boss may know someone who is hiring.  Steve occasionally went out to lunch with his former boss and the few employees who had been retained.  He wasn’t a stranger and they didn’t forget about him.

4) Don’t hold a grudge.  When Steve’s boss called to let him know his help was needed, Steve was glad to go back.  Steve was never angry with the employees who were not laid off.  He was grateful that they kept their jobs.  When there was some work for Steve to do, his former co-workers were happy to have him re-hired.

5) Volunteer to help out without the expectation of pay.  While unemployed, Steve offered to help his former employer put together a few job proposals with the understanding that Steve would be hired to do the work if they got the jobs. Unfortunately the company did not get most of those jobs and Steve did not get paid for his time.  However, working on the proposals kept Steve’s job skills sharp and earned him his employer’s gratitude. When a job did come through, Steve was called back to work.

6) Give a little.  Steve offered to work for 5% less than his previous rate and without benefits.  That made it easier for his employer to afford to hire him back. Taking a pay cut might not be easy, but it is a whole lot better than receiving no paycheck.

Have you been rehired after being laid off?  Please share any additional tips you have that might help others to regain their former jobs.

Sometimes the Fortune Cookie Gets It Right

Although I rarely eat fortune cookies, I always open them up to read the “fortune.”  The message I read is often not a prediction of my future, but rather a proverb or observation, such as the one I got today:  “Little and often makes much.”  It’s an interesting observation and one that would be hard to dispute, but it doesn’t have any real meaning for me.

Sometimes fortune cookies do make predictions.  Recently my niece’s fortune informed her that she would soon receive a raise.  She’s only 15 and not yet working, so it’s not likely to come true.  And, of course, it is totally unrealistic to think that a strip of paper found in a Chinese cookie could accurately predict anyone’s future.  Despite that, I am fascinated by the number of times a fortune cookie message seems to be have been written specifically for the person who received it.

At the same lunch in which my niece received a prediction of a raise, my fortune cookie message read:  “You lead a useful life no matter what riches are coming to you.”  At the time I wished I had swapped cookies with my niece; I have a job and I could really use a raise.  Despite that, I had to admit that the fortune was the right one for me.  I’ve kept it in my purse since then, and each time I read it, I am encouraged.

Although I have an MBA degree, I have never earned much money.  Currently, my salary is almost exactly equal to the average salary for a woman working full-time in the United States regardless of age, education, or experience.  Not bad, but not great.  I doubt that I will ever be rich in a financial sense.

Yet, I am rich in all the truly important ways.  I have a wonderful family who love me despite my many shortcomings. I have a great job that I enjoy going to each day. (I don’t enjoy getting up in the morning to go to my job, but that’s another blog for another day.)  All my material needs are met, as well as my spiritual needs. 

My job is rewarding in many ways.  I get to meet with clients who are trying to start new businesses.  I give them guidance and direction, free of charge.  They come in apprehensive and full of questions.  Ususally they leave with answers and ready to face the frightening world of business ownership.  Even when I don’t feel like I was able to help them, they usually thank me profusely for my time and assistance. 

Outside of work, I believe my life is also useful. I attend a spirit-filled church where I can worship Jesus Christ freely and where I can train up the next generation of girls to be Christian leaders in our church and community.  We teach the girls the truths of God’s word and instill in them a love of serving others, so that they too will lead useful lives.  One of the ways we do this is through visiting residents of area nursing homes and assisted living centers.  The girls bring joy to the residents through singing, conversation, and interactions.

This time the fortune cookie did get it right.  I may never be rich, but I hope to always lead a useful life.

What fortune cookie messages have you gotten that really applied to you?  What’s the most inaccurate fortune cookie message you have received?

Packing A Life in Rubbermaid Tubs

I spent Saturday packing my mother-in-law’s belongings in twenty Rubbermaid tubs. Last week her three sons came to the sad realization that Mom needs to live in a facility where she can get constant care and supervision.  The decision was made to move her to live near Steve and me.

It felt strange to pack up her belongings without consulting her as to what to keep.  Steve and I made decisions as to what would be kept, what would be given away, and what would be thrown away.  We couldn’t transport everything to our home and she won’t have a need for much in her residence.  Her days of cooking are behind her, so her dishes and cookware were given away.  She doesn’t read much, so most of her books were donated.  We did our best to determine what items were valuable to her and to pack those items in the twenty tubs that would fit in our van.

As I packed her sweaters, letters, photo albums, and keepsakes, John 21:18 ran through my mind. “When you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.” 

Although her body is frail and she is often confused, she does not suffer from Alzheimer’s.  We are grateful that she recognizes her family members.  She knows that she is coming to Virginia where she will get to see little Daniel, her first great-grandchild, and that she will be here when her first great-granddaughter is born in January.  We are not sure, however, that she comprehends she is moving here permanently. 

Steve’s mom has lived a long, full life.  Her body has weakened and her mind isn’t as sharp as it once was.  The important decisions that affect her are made by her children.  She is fortunate to have raised three loving, caring sons who are committed to ensuring that she has the best possible care. 

Our oldest son is fond of saying, “I’m the one who will choose your nursing home.”  He’s teasing, yet there is truth in his words.  One day I may find myself in need of supervised care and my children will be the ones making the decisions regarding my care.  We, too, are blessed with loving, caring sons. I can rest assured that they will put the same thought and consideration into their decisions as Steve and his brothers are now doing for their mother.